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Home of the World's Original Dis- Corporate Pop Group. Back issues of:NOTES FROM SRI LANKA.
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Quality Lincoln Back To Get Lyrics Part One -- Quality Lincoln Lincoln suffered from depression, Joe but it wasn't because of the war, you know and it wasn't because of his son who died or the wacky behavior of his bride Lincoln had a rare disease They cloned his bones, said a magazine No, they didn't have the know-how in those days
It isn't Grant in Lincoln's tomb but it isn't Abe, it's some baboon A gangly goon in fancy pants who took the good man's place by chance Lincoln had a rare disease Booth killed an ape that wore his sleeves No, they didn't have the know-how didn't have a cure in those days
Lincoln It shouldn't happen to our quality Lincoln Shoulda' happened all to Jefferson Davis or that condesending General Sherman with his inimitable bow-tie snapping Shouldn't happen to our quality Lincoln Shoulda' happened all to Colonel Smith
Lincoln's got no kin today The Lincoln name is dead Got to find some dna got to dig up Lincoln's head Lincoln had a rare disease that turned him into a chimpanzee No they didn't have the know-how didn't have a cure in those days
Lincoln It shouldn't happen to our quality Lincoln Shoulda' happened all to Jefferson Davis or that condesending General Sherman with his inimitable bow-tie snapping Shouldn't happen to our quality Lincoln Shoulda' happened all to Colonel Smith
Part 2 -- Lincoln Tool
I was with Booth when he plotted the assassination of Abraham Lincoln This is the truth; I was troubled 'bout imancipation of them there slaves so I offered up my sword to the confederacy at large and here I am
I was a reb' in the guise of a Union Colonel with all those fools I butchered a town just to prove to them that I was a loyal Lincoln tool Then in order to escape my shame, I wandered into outer space and here I am
Part 3 -- Cousin Smith
Dynamite baked in a pie for my little cousin Zachary Privately hoping that I won't receive payment in kind from all of these Northern-bred paritsans of the cause that brought me fame I am the Smith that gave all of the Smiths their bad name
What would you think of a man who, out of his pride and arrogance, threw in his lot with a plan to betray our quality nation's president? Safe until Great Birnan Wood scaled high Dunsinane, he was the Lincoln who gave every king their bad name
© 1993 by Matthew & Joseph Perry
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