Tag Archives: This Is Big Green

Usual Rubbish

Jingle hell.

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What are you going to be for this year’s Christmas pageant? A reindeer? A slice of gooseberry pie? As small pile of pine cones? So many possibilities.

I don’t imagine that anyone reading this blog is unaware of the fact that the holidays hold a special resonance for Big Green. God knows, when they start blowing those freaking carols through every available loudspeaker, my head starts resonating like a church bell at Noon. That’s what I call old time religion. And sure, we did do a whole album of Christmas songs, entitled (not surprisingly) 2000 Years To Christmas (2KY2C) – our first formal album.

When I say “formal”, I don’t mean that we appear in tuxedos with massive red cummerbunds and top hats. I mean that we released a number of collections on cassette tape prior to 2KY2C that were anything BUT formal. More than a few of those were Christmas themed albums, from which we drew the 13 songs that appeared on 2KY2C. Okay, so … as we have in previous years, we’re planning on putting together a holiday episode of our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN, and in an effort to lard it out with some extra music we are ladling out compositions from those earlier “informal” releases. Last year it was “Merry Christmas from Henry K;” the year before we did “Father Christmas,”  “Christmas Spirit” and a couple of others. Plenty more where that came from.

Gooseberry pie?I’ve often said (and you’ve often heard me) that the difference between Big Green and a successful group is that all-consuming lust for fortune, fame, and higher achievements. Yeah … we ain’t got that. We’ve got the songs – scores and scores of them. We’ve got our modest musical abilities. We’ve got a sense of how to put an album together. We even half know how to record ourselves, with some struggle. But that other stuff – that “I’m the greatest” shit … that particular human chromosome was left out of our genetic inheritance.

So what the hell. Bereft of an Earthly audience, we please ourselves. If that involves putting antlers on for a few hours, so be it.

Usual Rubbish

Inside October.

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The morning came up like thunder today. That was something. It poured so hard it felt like it was raining in my bedroom. Which, in fact, it was – the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill roof has some issues, as you’ve probably heard. Hey – over a century old, abandoned by its owners, neglected for decades … you’d have a leaky roof too.

So I’m sitting here at my superannuated mixing console, laptop open and running, Marvin (my personal robot assistant) holding an umbrella over me as I type. What better time is there to give a rundown of the recently posted October installment of THIS IS BIG GREEN, our podcast. Here’s what’s on deck for October:

Ned Trek 25: Not the Children One, Please! – Based on the original Star Trek episode, “And the Children Shall Lead” (one of the most annoying episodes ever), the Ned Trek version features the current crop of demon spawn circling the drain that is the modern presidency. Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, and Ted Cruz appear as the children, all poorly impersonated along with the voices of their fathers, Ron, George, and … uh … Ted’s dad, respectively. The evil angel ringleader is played by Judge Robert Bork. Lots of singing, chanting, dancing, and fist pumping. You know … kid stuff.

Song: Johnny Got His Gun – A selection from our 2008 album International House. We included this one as a nod to the Oregon shooting. Our version of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in a sense, written around a subject that seemingly never goes away.

Put The Phone Down – Matt and I wheel through a variety of topics, from a discussion of the ridiculousness of the movie Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, to one about my brief childhood excursion through the Catholic religious instruction process (a.k.a. Voyage to the Bottom of the Holy See), to random talk about Matt’s primitive diet and the ongoing atrocities in Syria. Basically, our mouths move and sound comes out – that’s all I know.

That's great, Marvin. Thanks.Song: It Should’ve Been Me – The closer on our 2013 album Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. Something in the way of a tribute to cousin Rick Perry, who ended his 2016 presidential bid this past month. (NOW what will we do?)

Song: Enter The Mind – Another selection from International House, this one about enhanced interrogations and the mindset that promotes them.

Song: Why Not Call It George – This is an unreleased recording of a song Matt wrote decades ago, recorded on 4-track cassette, I believe, with Johnny White on drums and a positively volcanic guitar solo by the amazing Jeremy Shaw, who played with us in the early 1990s. One of Matt’s songs about geoscience (I think there were others) and plate tectonics, with a dash of mad science. It’s a particular favorite of our mad science adviser Mitch Macaphee, who would name a reconstituted Pangea “Mitch,” I suspect.

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THIS IS BIG GREEN: October 2015

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Big Green welcomes another autumn with a new episode of Ned Trek, four Big Green songs, and a lot of bad imitations of famous people. This is a thing.

This is Big Green – October 2015. Features: 1) Ned Trek 25: Not the Children One, Please!; 2) Song: Johnny Got His Gun, by Big Green; 3) Put the Phone Down: Kissinger drops by; 4) Journey to See the Bottom; 5) Joe’s last communion; 6) Matt and the monkey bread;  7) Reagan’s plants and trees; 8) Song: It Should’ve Been Me, by Big Green; 9) Song: Enter the Mind, by Big Green; 10) Syria, seriously; 11) Song: Why Not Call It George? by Big Green; 12) Time for us to go.

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Usual Rubbish

Hanky land.

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What the fuck, was that a week just then? I know I’ve said this before, but time seems to be speeding up. I should ask Mitch Macaphee if the Earth is spinning any faster than a few years ago … and if HE has anything to do with it. (Always worth asking.)

Well, it’s been kind of quiet around the abandoned hammer mill for the last week. Just the sounds of quiet toil. Ah, the joys of wage slavery! Not much to report. Matt’s been out in the field, tending to his various populations of beast and bird. We’re working on the next album, punching up some of the Ned Trek numbers, albeit slowly. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is learning Swahili in his spare time (or perhaps Kinyarwanda … he can never make up his little battery-driven mind about anything.)

Besides recording, what have we been doing as a “band”, specifically? Well, if you REALLY want to know, probably the best way is to listen to the second half of our podcast THIS IS BIG GREEN – the part where Matt and I spend about an hour talking about nothing and next to nothing. For instance, our most recent episode featured the following weighty items:

  • What a way to wake upImagining Henry Kissinger trying out for the Monkees back in the late sixties, like Charles Manson did. Hanky’s Monkees, it might have been called. Or perhaps not. (This stemmed from our recollection of an earlier episode when we pondered whether or not Davy Jones might have been killed by primate poachers.)
  • Waking up and finding that not only are you in the Pleistocene era, but you are in fact Charles Nelson Riley.
  • Giving a rough-edged rendition of the Popeye theme song.
  • Way too many lame imitations of Peter Lorre (if you can imagine such a thing).
  • Once through the “Happy Anniversary” version of the William Tell Overture to mark our podcast’s 4th anniversary.

I know, it’s hard to imagine that any single podcast could contain so many wonders, but it’s true. And honestly, it’s just like hanging out with us in the Cheney Hammer Mill basement. Just as riveting.

Usual Rubbish

Inside August (or September).

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Hey, presto. Pulled a fast one on you last week, didn’t we? Just when you least expect to see a new episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN, there it freaking is, plain as paper and twice as thick. As has been our practice, this featured another “musical” episode of our warped space opera Ned Trek, the only Star Trek parody that features an all-neocon crew, a Mormon captain, and a talking dressage horse as its first officer and moral compass.

What’s inside the podcast? Well, the best way to find out is to suffer through it. You can do it! Short of that drastic step, here’s a brief guide to August’s TIBG:

Ned Trek 24: Whom Gods Deploy – This episode of Ned Trek is loosely based on the third season classic Star Trek episode, Whom Gods Destroy, the one with Captain (a.k.a. Lord) Garth, the inmate who takes over the space insane asylum and plans on conquering the universe. In our version, the inmate is George W. Bush, former imperial president, who spends his days on an asylum planet painting abstract portraits …. works that appear to presage actual events, as if (dare I say it?) he possessed some kind of supernatural power, like the guy in The Lathe of Heaven, except more on the hayseed side. (Side note: W has a serious fear of horses, my brother tells me.)

Frankly, hard to parody.Song: Up On The Bridge – Another Sulu number, one that chronicles his career fall and rise with the ebb and flow of the Star Trek phenomenon.

Song: I Paint What I See – Ex-president George W. Bush explains the genesis of his muse and its relationship to his overall worldview.

Song: Naturally – Pearl’s song to his former boss and chief advisee; a lament about W’s sorry condition as a painter, not a war-starter. Country-fied.

Song: Stephanie’s Song – Mr. Stephanie croons about W’s fear of horses and all hooved creatures in this quirky waltz.

Song: Baby Bush – A Romney number, encouraging W. to reclaim his pedestal as The Decider. Shuffle swing number.

Song: Jesus Has a Known Mind – Doc delivers an awesome message from the lord in this rock-out number. Mean!

Song: Real Talking Horse – Ned’s song, with a strange early-sixties ending reminiscent of the Four Seasons, somehow.

Pointless Banter – This you have to hear. I can’t describe it other than to say that I probably said things I regret, but …. post!

Podcast

THIS IS BIG GREEN: August 2015

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Big Green celebrates four years of pointless podcasting with a spanking new episode of Ned Trek, seven new songs, and various exultations of joy. Four more years!

This is Big Green – August 2015. Features: 1) Ned Trek 24: Whom Gods Deploy; featuring six new Big Green songs: 2) Song: Up On The Bridge, by Big Green; 3) Song: I Paint What I See, by Big Green; 4) Song: Naturally, by Big Green; 5) Song: Stephanie’s Song, by Big Green; 6) Song: Baby Bush, by Big Green; 7) Song: Jesus Has a Known Mind, by Big Green; 8) Song: Real Talking Horse, by Big Green; 10) Put the Phone Down: Cheap Limburger blues; 11) Playground in their minds; 12) Charles Nelson Riley remembered; 13) Popeye theme; 14) Happy Anniversary singalong; 15) Looking back a bit; 16) Time to go.

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Usual Rubbish

Sing the right one.

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Let the eagle soar! Higher than it’s ever flown before! From sandy beach to rocky shore … let the mighty eagle soar!

Oh, hello. Didn’t know you were there. I was finishing up my morning shower just then. Why am I singing John Ashcroft’s signature composition? Well, you know how they tell you that the best way to ensure proper hand washing is to sing “Happy Birthday” while you’re doing it? Well, I thought I needed a song to sing while I wash my ass. And that was the first song that sprang to mind. Just thought I’d share that. (Hiya, Mr. Attorney General!)

So what have we been up to lately? Well, bits and bobs. You know the drill. Everybody’s got their onerous responsibilities to discharge, and Big Green is certainly no exception. Brother Matt has been up to his eyeballs in animal related work, of course. I have been toiling away at my nine-to-five, pulling what’s left of my not-yet-gray hair out. (In bunches.) We’ve got a lot of parts to put down on our next album … it’s just getting to it that’s the problem. Still, where there’s a will … there’s a … will? How does that go again?

Jesus.We’re thinking about another interstellar tour. Now that Pluto is a better-known venue, that seems like a good place to start. Easy to find for our regular audiences. Small, yes. Cold, certainly. And a certain lack of amenities. But Big Green is a decidedly plain clothes gig, man. We don’t kowtow to the suits. That kind of thing is what we call “weak sauce.” We’re sticking it to “the man” – especially Marvin (my personal robot assistant), who has apparently entered some kind of beatnik phase. I think he’s been watching reruns of Dobie Gillis. Or Gilligan’s Island, perhaps. He’s rocking a mop top just lately – not sure where he’s going with that.

Well, best get back to work. We will be posting our next episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN before too terribly long, so keep that iPod warmed up.

Usual Rubbish

Density rising.

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You may say I’ve got a lot to learn. Seems like this is the perfect spot to learn. No, I’m NOT playing Vegas … not yet, anyway. (Though I did spend a summer in Reno once. Long story, which I’ll spare you.)

Raining like hell here at the Cheney Hammer Mill. Wish we had invested in that new roof a few years back, when we were overflowing with Neptunian shekels from our last interstellar tour. Those were the days …. NOT. Yeah, the water is coming in like … well … water from the sky. The mansized tuber is loving it. Not Marvin (my personal robot assistant), though. His brass finish is getting tarnished in the humid summer weather we get up here in upstate New York, and this is certainly not doing it any good. (Kind of vain, actually, that robot. I think he sees himself as a Tyrone Power lookalike. He needs to download some newer movies.)

Over the last few weeks the humidity has been rising. Our mad science advisor Mitch Macaphee, inventor of Marvin, insists that it is atmospheric density, not the humidity, that is rising. He has been hammering away at some kind of device that he claims will control the weather, or something to that effect. I could share with you what he told me, but it might cause you some distress. Suffice to say that throughout his diatribe, he managed to end each sentence with the term (and I quote) “BWA-HA-HA-HA!”  I have asked Y'know, I kinda see it.anti-Lincoln, our resident language history scholar, to find me a gloss on that. So far no luck.

We’re still working on our next album, working title “WORKING TITLE”. (We were thinking of renaming the band “Various Artists”, just so that we would show up in the Columbia House 8-track tape catalogs.) It’s slow going, to say the least. We’re re-thinking parts that we put down over the past two years, building on old tracks that were hastily recorded and shipped out via our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN. Some are rougher than others. And we’re starting with the roughest ones … I hope. (These are pretty freaking rough!)

So, we’ll keep scratching. Keep your eyes open …. especially if you’re driving.

 

Usual Rubbish

What’s with the cheap-ass show?

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Okay, so we posted a cheap-ass podcast for July. So sue me. Go hire Mr. Simon’s lawyer and sue me. Things went all pair-shaped this summer, what can I tell you?

The fact is, we did produce a new episode of Ned Trek. I wrote the script, with Matt’s able help, we voiced it, and Matt finished editing it … and then his computer blew up. So he’s reconstructing it, in between the fifteen thousand other things he’s responsible for. And it has taken longer than anticipated, right? You know the drill. Even more galling in a way is the fact that this was one of our musical episodes, which means that we produced no less than 6 original songs for the sucker. A lot of production for an episode that never got posted. Still … it will go up, eventually. Just wait and see. (Or hear.)

Anyway, we thought we’d take this opportunity to re-run one of our favorite Ned Trek episodes, called The Wrath of Carl, in which Carl Sagan decimates the Free Enterprise crew through the awesome power of his calling bullshit on all of their pseudo-scientific TV-show contrivances, like artificial gravity and … well … interstellar travel. (My favorite moment is when Sagan points out that horses lack the requisite anatomy for speech, at which point Ned loses his voice.)

What a lame ass cop out.What’s on deck for this month, besides this re-tread episode of Ned Trek? Well, we have a selection from Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick – a little song called Savin’ Myself for America, which is a particular favorite of mine from that album. (Hear it now on YouTube.) We also launch into a shaggy-dog planning session about our next album, which will feature songs from – you guessed it – Ned Trek. We’ve produced about fifty so far, and you can listen to us engaging in the somewhat useless task of winnowing this down to maybe 45. Will this be our first double album? Who freaking knows. (We obviously don’t – just listen to the podcast.)

So there you have it. Another day at the office.

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THIS IS BIG GREEN: July 2015

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Big Green takes a pass on new production and celebrates the dog days with an encore episode of Ned Trek, rambling conversation about their next album, and random imitations of famous people. Woof.

This is Big Green – July 2015. Features: 1) Ned Trek 13: The Wrath of Carl (encore presentation); 2) Song: Savin’ Myself for America, by Big Green; 3) Put the Phone Down: Rambling discussion of what to put in our next album; 4) Time to go.

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