Here we are again, man. Week is almost over and, what the hell, time to get back on the blog again. Get right back up on that bronco! as Lee Majors would say. Yee-haw … and the rest of it.
So, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was offering explanations for all of those 7 million songs on our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, now appearing on iTunes, Spotify, etc., etc. I believe I left off with “Awesome Hair”. Oh, Governor Scott’s got a glowin’ dome. Governor McDonnell’s got some slop on his top. And so on. Here’s some more ‘splainin’….
Evening Crab Nebula – A resurrected song from Matt’s holiday mix tapes past, re-worked and repurposed to tell part of “cousin” Rick’s wacky election story. Picture a high-paid, low-I.Q. consultant, giving Rick his best advice while standing on one foot. He’s singing this freaking song.
Falling Behind – The news is not good, Rick. Not good at all, man. Look at the polls. Dropping back behind God knows who. T’ain’t never lost a-fore, but there’s a first time for everything. Banjo solo!
Limping Back to Texas – Cousin Rick goes back home to collect his thoughts and a have a little talk with his maker, who sounds strangely like a two-bit Levon Helm impersonation. (You can even hear Salvation Army horns in the background … and a banjo!)
Devil Romney – An embittered Rick rails against a somewhat unaccommodating God as the final nail is sunk into the coffin of his presidential ambitions. Dang you, uncle Jebus!
Endorsing Newt Gingrich – Just what the title says. Rick gives his endorsement to the former speaker, with obvious ulterior motives. Real cranky little country jam.
Come Back Mean – Dang! Losin’ elections sure can make a man ornery. Next thing you know, a cowboy is likely to go home and do anything he likes … like shut down Planned Parenthood … like force ultrasounds on pregnant women. Deep in the heart of you.
More later. Just watch.
What is it? My wristwatch of course. I thought I left it in the local watering hole, but it’s here, in my sock drawer – it’s here! Now if I could just find my socks. (Note to self: check the watch drawer.) Oh, right… and a box came. Not by itself, you understand. A truck dropped it off. It was a biggish box, but not too big. A box full of discs. Not chock full, exactly – what I mean to say is that there were discs in the box. Discs called Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick.
Wait, I heard something. That beeping noise. Did you hear it? Go out and take a look, will you? I’ll just sit here and finish this cardboard sandwich. What? That’s the microwave beeping? Turn it off, then. There’s a good chap.
Well, once again, you are encountering me in the midst of some level of astonishment. Seems like I spend half of my life sore amazed and the other half just plain sore. (I am definitely in the sore second half.) Anyway, never mind my poor self control – these are indeed heady days here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill in now waterlogged upstate New York. There’s so much shit hitting this fan, it’s hard to see your face through the fertilizer. Or something.
Well, most of our homeland in upstate New York is under water today. The abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill is practically floating away. What better time to crack out an advance copy of our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick? What else is there to do, right?
I was just thinking back to the bad old days in the 1970s when television was king and the internets were just a twinkle in DARPA’s eyes. On about five million occasions – maybe slightly more than that – I can remember watching an ad for 120 Classical Masterpieces introduced by the well-known character actor John Williams (not the classical guitarist … nor the composer of the Lost In Space theme song). Now that we are on the verge of releasing our third and perhaps silliest album ever, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, I only wish we had a marketing powerhouse behind us like John Williams. Or even Guy Williams. (Except that he‘s dead too!)
What would I do with all that brain power? Well, for one thing, I would get our next album out a bit quicker. Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick seems to be in perpetual becoming mode. I know you’re sick of it, I’m sick of it, Matt’s had it up to here, the president has started complaining, the ambassador from Madagascar has issued a protest against Big Green – suffice to say, no one is happy. Hey, well … we’re working as fast as we can. It takes a while to bake all those discs, especially without a convection oven like the big, famous groups have. And then hand painting all those covers. Jesus!