Tag Archives: This Is Big Green

Usual Rubbish

Inside the April podcast.

Leave a comment

Interstellar Tour Log: April 3, 2014
On the surface of Dwarf Planet 2012 VP.

Still out here in Ort Cloud land, taking a bit of a break before heading back home to see what condition the Cheney Hammer Mill is in since our departure some ten weeks ago. (Lawn probably needs cutting.) While I’m reclining in a hammock, waiting for Marvin (my personal robot assistant) to deliver my next High Ball on a silver tray, this seems like a good time to tick through some of the highlights on our brand new March …. I mean, April THIS IS BIG GREEN podcast. Or is it March? Well … no matter.

Anywho, here it is:

Ned Trek XVII – The Romney Syndrome
It looks so realWho would have guessed that we would have made it to the 17th episode of this monthly audio mash-up of classic Star Trek, Mr. Edd, and the 2012 Republican National Convention? Not I. Even so, this episode (introduced as always by Lee Majors) is a riff on the classic series episode, the Paradise Syndrome – Captain Romney bumps his head in a stone outhouse on an alien world, loses his memory, and goes all native CEO on the cigar-store Native American stereotypes who inhabit this television paradise. Oh, and the Nixon android has a zero-gravity tryst with an automated mining vessel.  (You … kind of have to listen to it. )

This month’s Ned Trek features no less than six new Big Green songs, written to move the ponderous plot along. They include:

My Masterpiece
Richard Pearle’s neocon ode to the merits of his greatest work, the Iraq war.

Space is the Devil
Chief Engineer Welsh sings this sea chanty to caution Mr. Ned against engaging the warp drive engines. A stunning performance. (I’m still stunned. Bring me another high ball!)

I Place You First
This is the sick little song a love-struck Nixon android sings to the Halliburton mining vessel before he, well … docks with it. Androids will be androids.

This Horse’s Sense
Mr. Ned laments the stupidity of his human comrades in his signature style.

Happy and Peaceful Here
Romney’s song about finding his way through his idyllic life on the surface of Nobodelcarus, where he has become Chief Financial Officer in his amnesiac state.

Lies from the Pit of Hell
Doc Coburn’s rocker about his personal hero, Congressman Paul Broun of Georgia (and of the Middle Ages).

That’s the show. Hope you enjoy it as much as I’m enjoying this hammock.

Podcast

THIS IS BIG GREEN: March 2014

Leave a comment


Big Green nearly gives March a miss and hurls itself headlong into April with Ned Trek 17, six new songs, and some incoherent muttering. Out like a lamb!

This is Big Green – March 2014. Features: 1) Ned Trek XVII: The Free Enterprise Syndrome, including six new Big Green songs; 2) Put the Phone Down: A capella song to greet April; 3) Faces of fools; 4) Obama’s speech to European youth (now with more irony); 5) Song: Special Kind of Blood, by Big Green; 6) Joe’s first (and second) bass; 7) Big Green’s live performance days: some tall tales; 8) Time for us to go

New Songs: (1) My Masterpiece; (2) Space is the Devil; (3) I Place You First; (4) This Horse’s Sense; (5) Happy and Peaceful Here; (6) Lies from the Pit of Hell

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Usual Rubbish

What the frack?

Leave a comment

Interstellar Tour Log: February 12, 2014
The still-unforgiving surface of Ceres, the alpha asteroid

Greetings from camp slag! As you can see from the subject line of this dispatch, Big Green and entourage are still stranded here on alpha asteroid Ceres, here in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, a veritable no man’s land of broken planets and random shards of rock, careering through an airless void in an endless race to hell. (Sounds like my morning commute, actually.)

Readers of this asinine blog will know that Big Green, in the third leg of its Interstellar Tour 2014 to support galactic sales of our latest album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, had performances booked in the system of Sirius, the dog star. Trouble was, our GPS navigation system – Marvin (my personal robot assistant) – got the names mixed up in his tiny 1978 Texas Instruments calculator of a brain, and ended up sending us to this lifeless slag in space. It’s a bit like camping out, except without the fun (if you think camping’s fun). The weird thing is, not only is there no where to play on this rock, but there’s no one freaking here, period! I was expecting a hard rock cafe or something, at the very least.

Interstellar Tour Log: February 14, 2014
The still, still-unforgiving surface of Ceres, the alpha asteroid

Hmmm. It seems I spoke too soon a couple of days ago. There is somebody else here. Anti Lincoln was taking his morning constitutional the other day (he has this thing about the Constitution … he takes it everywhere!) and he ran across a little mining operation on the other side of the asteroid. Looks like Halliburton / Brown and Root has somehow secured mining rights up here, as well. (They say it’s part of Obama’s See? Solid as a rock.“all of the above” approach to energy production and development … so I guess that means everything above the Earth’s surface is up for grabs.) They’re apparently fracking the place. I know, because Anti-Lincoln got a job working the bilge pumps. (They also let him handle burning off the gas leaks. He has a lot of practice with that.)

That puts us in an awkward position. Broken spacecraft, under repair, and intensive fracking operations going on. But it’s okay: the project supervisor, a Mr. Nerim, tells us that this asteroid is made of layer upon layer of solid rock soooo thick you could lay a burning sun on its surface, and the sun would just burn itself out and leave the asteroid untouched. So I guess we’ve got some time.

Plug: Hey, if you haven’t heard the February podcast yet, give it a listen. Cheap laughs, and plenty of ’em. Check it out.

Usual Rubbish

Remote podcast rundown.

Leave a comment

We return to the ongoing saga of Big Green’s Interstellar Tour 2013-14: Cowboy Scat goes galactic.

Interstellar Tour Log: February 5, 2014
Unforgiving surface of Ceres, the alpha asteroid

After a solid week on the surface of this, well, remarkably solid asteroid (a crust of solid titanium! … or so my geologically impoverished mind/brain tells me) we’re coming to the realization that this is not so brief a layover in our Interstellar Tour 2013-14. Given this reality … and the fact that Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is insisting that I do so, I will take a few moments to share my usual dissection of our recently distributed podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN – now with more Green!

Anyway, here’s what we have for the February podcast,* posted only days ago:

Ned Trek XVI: A Mock Time
Yes, believe it or not, we are on the 16th episode of this ludicrous audio remake of several failed sixties television shows, starring Willard Mittilius Romney as Captain Romney of the Starship Free Enterprise, and his first officer, Mr. Ned the dressage horse (loosely based on Mr. Ed). This month parodies the classic Star Trek episode “Amok Time,” when Spock gets the seven year vulcan itch in the worst way imaginable. Our take involves dancing, insults, and an enormous pile of dung … so it’s not so different from the original. Enjoy! That’s an order!

Put The Phone Down
Matt and I engage in our usual random conversation about changing Matt’s name to “Oliver Remote Control”, why Andy Williams never did a special with us, and how many times worse than Neil Sedaka we truly are. We also remember Pete Seeger, friend of the planet, and discuss our plans for the Super Bowl (which Matt was planning to flush this year).

I'm being played by a talking horse, Jim!Song: Paradise
We’ve played this one on the podcast before. This is a remake of a song Matt wrote in the 90s, part of a larger, kind of slow-mo effort on our part to reclaim at least a portion of the hundreds of songs we recorded for cassette distribution back in the day.

Song: Kublai Khan
Another retread of an older number; this one with shades of Reverend Moon. Written around the same time as Paradise, actually.

That’s the show, in essence. Now … if someone could ship about a dozen box lunches to Ceres, and maybe a cylinder of fireplace matches. Just follow the gas cloud rising from the asteroid’s surface. It’s freaking cold out here.

(*Editor’s Note: those of you hunting for evidence of a January podcast, your hunt is in vain. The February TIBG installment is actually a resuscitation of our January podcast, which got lost in all that discarded wrapping paper. January’s a chaotic month for us, too!)

Podcast

THIS IS BIG GREEN: Feburary 2014

Audio Leave a comment


Big Green resuscitates its lost January episode with a gripping new installment of Ned Trek, two Big Green songs, impromptu harmonizing, and other mindless drivel. Great way to spend a snowy afternoon (if you don’t have a hangover).

This is Big Green – February 2014. Features: 1) Ned Trek XVI: A Mock Time; 2) Put the Phone Down: Changing our name to Oliver Remote Control; 3) Why Andy Williams never did a special with us; 4) Matt’s Andromeda period: 100x worse than Neil Sadaka; 5) Remembering Pete Seeger; 6) Song: Paradise, by Big Green; 7) Song: Kublai Khan, by Big Green; 8. Matt’s plans for Super Bowl Sunday; 9) Time for us to go

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Usual Rubbish

It’s a gas.

Leave a comment

Back to the ongoing saga of Big Green’s Interstellar Tour 2013-14: The Cowboy Scat edition…

Interstellar Tour Log: January 27, 2014
Exiting orbit of KOI-314c

Big GreenJust in the process of attempting to reach escape velocity from KOI-314c, the strangely Earth-like planet recently detected by Earth scientists. Have to say, it was a bit disappointing. For one thing, we couldn’t find any inhabitants. Well, of course there was a vast ocean of liquid methane that might have contained some life forms, but I wasn’t going to be the first to volunteer to check it out. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) got a good look around; no clubs in site. Not even a Denny’s. What the hell is Earth-like about that? Next trip, we bring Mitch Macaphee.

Interstellar Tour Log: January 29, 2014
Entering asteroid belt (Yaaah!)

Asteroids! We’re taking a swing back through our home solar system, on our way to Sirius, and our trajectory appears to run straight through the dreaded asteroid belt that lies between Mars and the outer planets. Sure, we’ve done this before, but not without a trained pilot (or at least someone who plays one on t.v.). Anti-Lincoln claims to have some driving skills, but I think that’s more of the buckboard cart variety. Not a lot we can do with that, frankly, unless one of these asteroids would make a decent location for a re-shoot of High Noon or Showdown at the OK Corral.

Interstellar Tour Log: January 30, 2014
Unforgiving surface of Ceres, the alpha asteroid

Damn it, Marvin!Yes, you read that right. We got a bull’s eye on Ceres, the big brass buckle of the asteroid belt. I’m beginning to understand what’s happening here. Our rented space vehicle has a very primitive voice-activated computer guidance system, a bit like the blue tooth set in my car. When I tell my blue tooth, “call Oscar,” it starts dialing the number of someone in Madagascar. Well, we told our guidance system to take us to Sirius, and it took us to freaking Ceres. Christ on a bike!

Note to astronomers: Anti Lincoln decided to have a little barbecue while we were visiting, so if you see some unexplained vapor emanating from Ceres, yeah, that’s us.

Usual Rubbish

Another Earth?

Leave a comment

Interstellar Tour Log: January 20, 2014
Somewhere in deep space

There are some things you can accomplish quite well in space (e.g. mid-air cartwheels) and others, well … not so much. I’m afraid our January podcast is an example of the latter.

Big GreenThose of you anxiously awaiting the new episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN, take heart: it’s in the works, though Matt’s interplanetary breathing apparatus is getting in the way of his doing a credible talking horse imitation. (You’d think it would be a positive boon, but no.) We’re hoping this problem will be eliminated when we arrive at the gassy, Earth-like planet known as KOI-314c, which – I’m guessing – has a perfectly breathable Earth-like atmosphere. (Hey, they said it was Earth-like. That’s all I need to hear. We’re playing there.)

Interstellar Tour Log: January 23, 2014
Somewhere else in deep space

Well, we’ve arrived on  KOI-314c, and if this is Earth-like, things have gone seriously downhill back on Earth since we left.  We sent Marvin (my personal robot assistant) out there to gather environmental data (and hunt down some performance venues), and after twirling a few antennae and waving his arms about, he gave us the following run-down on a little strip of paper that might have emerged from a 1920’s vintage stock ticker:

  • Surface temperature: 104 degrees centigrade
  • Length of year: 23 days
  • Atmospheric composition: hydrogen and helium

Looks harmless enoughI wouldn’t say this news was received with a total lack of enthusiasm. Anti-Lincoln was just dying to get out there and take a dip in one of the nearby liquid methane pools. And for sFshzenKlyrn, the guitarist from Zenon, this sounds like a tropical paradise. There are some issues, however, should we be asked to do an outdoor concert. First, my Kork SV-1 would probably melt at 104C. Second, the helium in the atmosphere would make us all sing like those munchkin dudes from the lollipop gym.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) And if we are contracted to play again next year, that’s just 23 days from now.

Guess we’ll consider this conundrum from inside our rented spacecraft for the time being. Maybe even get a chance to finish the podcast. We’ll see, eh?

Usual Rubbish

Inside the holiday podcast.

Leave a comment

Ahem. Still bobbing out here in deep space. Nothing to keep us company but the echoes of our increasingly impatient throat clearings. Ahem!

Well, while we have so much time on our hands, time to crack open that big Christmas present we left all of you who subscribe to our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN – namely, our annual Christmas Spectacular. What’s inside the box this year? Two solid hours of Big Green madness, including:

Ned Trek XV: Santorum’s Christmas Planet – This special, expanded holiday edition of our (un)popular Star Trek parody features six – yes, six – new Big Green songs, sung in character:

  • Christmas Shine – Captain Mitt Romney’s joyful rumination on getting full value out of his human resources throughout the holiday season. And he’s not going to say it again.
  • Horrible People – Mr. Ned contemplates the fate of all animals during the dangerous Yultide ritual celebrations. (Backing vocals by those ’40s guys.)
  • Dick’smas Xmas – Even the robot Dick Nixon keeps Christmas in his own way. This song gives you an idea of how that all comes down. Expletives deleted, mostly.
  • Doc’s Christmas – Full of crackpot prognostications and characteristic religious fervor, the right honorable Senator Reverend Doctor Thomas Beauregard Coburn belts out another keeper. Foghorn Leghorn is turning in his cartoon grave.
  • Lonely Little Neocon – Richard Pearle takes a moment away from more important duties to croon this tidy little number about how much he misses his favorite pastime – starting major conflicts.
  • Christmas Green – What’s the true meaning of Christmas? Let Captain Mitt explain it to you in no uncertain terms.

Let's talk about the podcast.This month’s episode features Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell (sounding a bit like Walter Brennan), and others as Mitt and the crew encounter a fantastic world on which Christmas happens every other day (and twice on Sunday).


Song: Merry Christmas, Jane, Part II – A holiday rebroadcast of this selection from our 1999 album, 2000 Years To Christmas.

Put the Phone Down – We spend a lot of our conversation remembering our old friend and colleague Tim Walsh, who passed away unexpectedly in November. Tim played guitar with us way back in the day, and we spin a few old recordings of the band we had back then, which was made up of Joe Perry (keys), Matt Perry (bass), Phil Ross (drums) and Tim. These are pretty rough, but you can hear most of what’s going on.

  • Wind Cries Mary – Hendrix number with Tim playing lead guitar. (This starts with an end bit from another recording that features Tim hammering out a blistering Neil Young style solo.)
  • Colors in the Darkness – Song written, arranged, sung, and recorded by Tim while we shared a flat in Castleton-On-Hudson, NY. The first section is all Tim; the second is excerpted from the entire band playing the song out.
  • Nothing To Hide – Another original song by Tim, which he sings. I think we recorded this at my parent’s house in New Hartford, NY, in maybe 1984.

Anywho … that’s the run-down of the show. Let us know what you think. We’ll have our people float a message in a bottle-rocket out to us.

Usual Rubbish

Podcast rundown: November

Leave a comment

Just getting a few things packed away in my cozy little cabin, in the makeshift rent-a-spacecraft we’ve hired for our interstellar tour in support of Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick (our latest album). A few sticks of chewing gum, some duct tape, an x-ray of a tooth (not mine, as it happens – just some random tooth) … all stuff I wouldn’t want to be without for the stretch of weeks we’ll spend in the icy void of space. Brrrrr!

Big GreenAnyhow, before I do another hand’s turn of real work, I wanted to post my usual visitor’s guide to our most recent podcast. I know, I know – podcasts should explain themselves, right? Well, in a perfect world they would, but this world is far from perfect. Just ask Dr. Pangloss. (Wait … he’s probably exactly the person you shouldn‘t ask. Try Candide instead.)

November’s THIS IS BIG GREEN included some very useful tidbits, such as:

Ned Trek XIV: The Wrath of Carl – Amazing to hear myself say this, but this fourteenth episode of our epic Star Trek parody, starring Captain Willard Mittilius Romney, his first officer / dressage horse Mr. Ned, and a crew of neocons and misfits, pits our cast against the most terrifying enemy they’ve ever faced: a real astrophysicist (Carl Sagan), armed with actual facts about the universe (most of which we made up, but you’ll get the idea). Carl can wreck the Free Enterprise merely by commenting on it. What will Willard and Ned do? Download it and find out.

Song: Volcano Man – A selection from our album International House. We’ve played this number on the podcast before, so … here it is again. (The rapture’s comin’!)

Put The Phone Down: Matt and I talk about a wide range of issues, touching on health care, hunting, blah, and blah-blah. Some rare moments of insight. (Did I say insight? I meant instep.)

Song: Little Pig Flies – A selection from the 4-track cassette production archives, previously unreleased (of course). This number has echoes of Richard Kimball, running from Inspector Gerard. Toiling at many jobs. You get the idea.

Song: Good Old Boys Roundup (Demo Version) – The demo of a song that was intended for International House but never made it to the final version. We may have played this on the podcast before, I don’t know. Anywho, here it is … again-ish.

Back to packing. Hasta la vista.

Podcast

THIS IS BIG GREEN: November 2013

Leave a comment

Big Green declares open season on reason with the November episode of their podcast, featuring Ned Trek 14, The Wrath of Carl, and several Big Green songs. Boy howdy.

This is Big Green – November 2013. Features: 1) Ned Trek XIV: The Wrath of Carl; 2) Song: Volcano Man, by Big Green; 3) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe talk about the start of hunting season and its random killing; 4) Electon 2013: The Gleason effect; 5) Big Green’s live days: Matt on horse, Joe on cow; 6) Song: Little Pig Flies, by Big Green; 7) A visit with Anita Bryant; 8) Random Extra Song: Good Old Boys Roundup; 9) End time

Podcast: Play in new window | Download