Tag Archives: Songs in the Key of Rick

Usual Rubbish

Alrighty, then.

Leave a comment

What the hell. Is that what we sounded like back then? We still sound like that now! Man freaking god damn. It’s like being sealed in amber.

Back thenGreetings from the Mill of our discontent. Well, it’s mild discontent, let’s say. Been a long time since the book of love. Wait … why did I say that? Oh, right – I was listening to tapes from the 70s and 80s, so naturally my mind goes back to my neighbor’s Led Zepplin albums. (I didn’t have any; just Simon and Garfunkel, Josh White, and Mario Lanza. Oh, and some weird stuff.) We didn’t sound anything like them, of course. In fact, we sounded strangely like us in the 2010’s. It’s as if we’ve been playing the same tune for forty years. FOR FORTY YEARS…!

Why am I listening to old recordings? Simple … we live in an abandoned hammer mill, we haven’t toured in three years, and there’s nothing else the fuck to do around this dump.  Even Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is discontented. He even forgot to plug himself in the night before last – now that’s just plain careless.

Speaking of carelesss … I left my wallet in the bathroom. Anything could have happened to it in this den of thieves. Of course, there’ nothing in it except a couple of wadded up notes and a Canadian quarter I tried to drop into a soda machine last week. (The thing spit it back at me, making a compressor hum that sounded eerily like “Oh, Canada.”) Sometimes we fail to value those things that are the most valuable, like … I don’t know … gold, and/or money. And friends, of course. Rich, rich friends.

Big GreenYes, as you can see, we’ve been couped up in this mill way too long. It’s high time we went back on tour, this time to promote Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. That would put us back on track, get our heads in order, crisp our bacon, rock our clown, etc. It might also leave us with some fresh metaphors. Nothing like an interstellar tour to generate some really awesome metaphors.

Hey … don’t forget to check out THIS IS BIG GREEN, our podcast for August. It’s weird, yes, but you know what you’re getting, and the price is right (i.e. free).

Usual Rubbish

August arrives late.

Leave a comment

Well, that was strange. It was just the end of July, and now look at us. Summer evaporated – must have been all that sun.

It took a few weeks, but Matt and I finally got around to thinking that we should post an August episode of our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN. I’m sure some of you may have thought we were taking an August break, much like our political class and most people of means in Europe do every year about this time, but no soap. Let’s get this clear: Big Green is a WORKING band. They’ll be no slackers around this abandoned hammer mill, my friends. Yeah, I’m looking at YOU, Marvin (my personal robot assistant). It’s up every morning at 5 a.m. and sweat!

Phew, that was exhausting. Anywho, what do we have on the podcast this month? Well, let’s have a look-see. First off, we’ve got a special episode of Ned Trek, entitled Ned Trek XII: The Manassery. Introduced by Lee Majors, as always, this ludicrous extravaganza features a peerless pantheon of figures from the American conservative tradition, including Ronald Reagan in a role inspired by that of Captain Christopher Pike, post disaster. A must-listen for anyone with way, way, way too much time on their hands.

Big GreenThen there’s Matt and my usual broad-ranging conversation about nothing in particular, interrupted not once but twice by previously unreleased recordings of Big Green songs. The first, “Plenty of Time, Plenty of Blood”, is a number pulled from the archives; another four-track cassette recording, probably from 1990-91, somewhere in there. The second, right at the end of the podcast, is a recent recording of a song called “Ask For Leave”. This is one of those rough-draft recordings, not quite fully tracked, which we did a hasty mix on for the podcast.

Yeah, I know – it goes on a bit too long. But if you can stand two hours of THIS IS BIG GREEN, perhaps you can also endure 78 minutes of Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, our new album. Give it a listen. (If you’re short on scratch in these hard times, contact us and we’ll send you a copy gratis, while supplies last.)

Usual Rubbish

Another week.

Leave a comment

Here we are, another week ahead, one behind. I feel like a week sandwich.

Big GreenNot much time to gab. What’s new? We recorded another installment of THIS IS BIG GREEN this week, and I realize now that we never decided what the hell recordings we were going to cut into the show. We’ve got a truckload, of course. I know one that Matt had suggested is going to be included – an old ’90s recording we did on Matt’s 4-track cassette machine. Lo-fi, yes … but hey, that’s how we roll.

We’ve also got some half-finished recordings we started before turning to Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. This is a project we’ll probably pick up on again. Matt in particular has a huge backlog of songs we’ve never properly recorded, so we started hammering away at those (only natural, living in a hammer mill. Everything looks like a nail, right?) We’ve got some technical issues to work through … like a low-cost multitrack deck that is coughing up blood after producing two albums.  But we’ll make adjustments, no doubt. Anywho … another one of those recordings will probably surface on this month’s podcast.

We’ll also have another episode of Ned Trek – this is Ned Trek 12, I think, every bit as ludicrous as the previous 11. We’ve been talking about spinning this off into its own podcast, just because they’re getting so long. Or making it into an animated YouTube features. Or pounding nails through it and launching it into space. Who knows what we’ll do? We certainly don’t.

All right, sandman’s beating me to death. Time to bail. Hope all is well in Swaziland. Or Madagascar. Or wherever the hell you are.

Usual Rubbish

What’s in the box? (part 3)

Leave a comment

Holy mother of pearl. My throat is in shreds. Just got done with a 23-page script for the next episode of Ned Trek, a now-regular feature on our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN. Spoiler alert: I do the voice of Reagan. Well….

All that yakking can make a man sore tired. And tomorrow I play the 47th in a 194-part series known as the reunion gigs of Puttin’ on the Ritz, a band of many, many strange people (and I am one).

But that is not what you’re here for, to be sure. No, no, I’m sure you’re anxious for me to conclude my three-part explanation of the 21 songs contained on Big Green’s new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. It’s like waiting for the next episode of Downton Abbey or Breaking Bad … except that those things are, well, good-ish.

Anywho, here’s the splainin’ … and then, to bed, damnit.

Santorum From Behind – Sounds obscene, I know, but it’s necessary, believe me. Now that he’s out of the race, Rick is just trying to give old Mitt some helpful hints about that that object in his rear view mirror that’s closer than it appears.

Santiny – A meditation on Santorum, the Rick with the unsearchable name. I hear he keeps a fetus in a jar … a fetus named “Santiny”. You gotta pray.

Big GreenAw Shoot – In a world beyond time … Okay, this is like the theme song to a bad Euro-Sci Fi flick, except it’s about Rick. Unnamed German band takes the long view of Rick’s run, with hilarious consequences. Aw …. shoot.

Am I Really Rick Perry? – A thoughtful Rick contemplates the nature of his own identity, the thingness of things, the rightness of right, and so on, bidding a fond farewell to Andy Breitbart. Kind of a fifties vibe to this one. L.S.D. did exist then, didn’t it?

Poor Dick – Our cousin’s hero, Dick Cheney, is in trouble deep. Who better to save his considerable bacon than Ranger Rick himself. What’s the caper? Find a suitable ticker for transplanting into the heart of darkness. Poach it from another true believer… with hilarious consequences. Another country number, pure and simple.

Flying Up Ricky – Hit with the rapture, Rick disappears into thin air, leaving behind a crew of lamenting braceros, ever grateful for his able abuse. Ah, gratitude. A bit of ersatz salsa on this one.

Lone Star – Our cousin finds his true calling at the Lord’s side during his temporary sojourn in the great beyond, remembering all there is left for him to do in his desert home. Think Susan Boyle after a sex change operation (and major throat surgery).

What’ll You Do Now, Rick? – Next steps are always tricky, expecially when you tripped over most of the previous ones. Someone drafts a legend for Rick. Rock-ish.   

It Should’ve Been Me – The last word from our good cousin: “You’re never alone in Texas when you can play with your dong.” Country exit reminiscent of country entrance.

Usual Rubbish

What’s in the box? (part 2)

Leave a comment

Here we are again, man. Week is almost over and, what the hell, time to get back on the blog again. Get right back up on that bronco! as Lee Majors would say. Yee-haw … and the rest of it.

Big GreenSo, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was offering explanations for all of those 7 million songs on our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, now appearing on iTunes, Spotify, etc., etc.  I believe I left off with “Awesome Hair”. Oh, Governor Scott’s got a glowin’ dome. Governor McDonnell’s got some slop on his top. And so on. Here’s some more ‘splainin’….

Evening Crab Nebula – A resurrected song from Matt’s holiday mix tapes past, re-worked and repurposed to tell part of “cousin” Rick’s wacky election story. Picture a high-paid, low-I.Q. consultant, giving Rick his best advice while standing on one foot. He’s singing this freaking song.

Falling Behind – The news is not good, Rick. Not good at all, man. Look at the polls. Dropping back behind God knows who. T’ain’t never lost a-fore, but there’s a first time for everything. Banjo solo!

Limping Back to Texas – Cousin Rick goes back home to collect his thoughts and a have a little talk with his maker, who sounds strangely like a two-bit Levon Helm impersonation. (You can even hear Salvation Army horns in the background … and a banjo!)

Devil Romney – An embittered Rick rails against a somewhat unaccommodating God as the final nail is sunk into the coffin of his presidential ambitions. Dang you, uncle Jebus!

Endorsing Newt Gingrich – Just what the title says. Rick gives his endorsement to the former speaker, with obvious ulterior motives. Real cranky little country jam.  

Come Back Mean – Dang! Losin’ elections sure can make a man ornery. Next thing you know, a cowboy is likely to go home and do anything he likes … like shut down Planned Parenthood … like force ultrasounds on pregnant women. Deep in the heart of you.

More later. Just watch.

Usual Rubbish

What’s in the box?

Leave a comment

Lots going on these days. New podcast, new album, new burnish on Marvin (my personal robot assistant) … everything is new around the hammer mill these days.

Big GreenThis might be a good time to talk about our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick … namely, what’s on it, what complex themes, tortured melodies, and convoluted stories are behind each track. Isn’t that the era we live in? The age of the “back story”, where every reality show has interview sequences in which the stars talk about how they feel about the bogus melodramatic scene they were just in? Yeah, well … we’re not doing that.

Here’s a little run down of the tracks, until I run out of breath. (There’s twenty-one of them, for pity’s sake!)

Fed Up – This is the opening manifesto, the raison d’etre for Cousin Rick Perry’s political ambitions, in which Rick lays out his grievances with the federal government, creeping socialism, intrusive gravity, and what-not. Style: real, down-home country music, served up on a chipped blue plate, just the way you like it. Haw.

This Cracker’s in Paradise – Cousin Rick has a dream about being president, singing “Jesus came a-voting, and I have reaped divine right.” He shares his vision for the first term of the eternal Perry Presidency. Style: funky power ballad. Or something.

Savin’ Myself for America – All right, so running for president isn’t a dream. Turns out it’s hard! But Cousin Rick is determined, right? Style: hint of Roy Orbison rockabilly.

North Camp Pasture – A dirge-like ode to Cousin Rick’s hunting camp formerly known by another name, and the sordid history that follows him like a rabid dog. Style: folk ballad.

Sing, Rick Perry, Sing! – The story of Rick’s rise from young man on the prairie to politician to the crackhead Governor of prayer. Style: well, it varies a bit from country walk to primitive dance to 60s rock sing-along.

Awesome Hair – Hey, who can deny it? Cousin Rick has some fabulous folicles. How does he do it? Only his hairdresser knows, and he’s dishing up the recipe in this number. Style: swing with the Satchmo dial turned up to seven.

To be continued…

Usual Rubbish

An arrival of sorts.

Leave a comment

It’s here, it’s here! Great gob in Heflin, it’s here! What’s that? No, of course I’m not talking about the royal offspring, recently delivered of the Duke and Duchess of whatever-the-hell. Something far more important.

It's here, it's here!What is it? My wristwatch of course. I thought I left it in the local watering hole, but it’s here, in my sock drawer – it’s here! Now if I could just find my socks. (Note to self: check the watch drawer.) Oh, right… and a box came. Not by itself, you understand. A truck dropped it off. It was a biggish box, but not too big. A box full of discs. Not chock full, exactly – what I mean to say is that there were discs in the box. Discs called Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick.

Yes, that’s right – it’s Big Green’s third studio album, released after a hiatus of no less than five years (we released International House in 2008). It’s certainly the longest album we’ve ever made – fully twenty-one tracks, 78 minutes of music (if that’s what you call it). The official digital release date is July 31, this coming Wednesday. So am I excited? Damn straight I am. I found my freaking watch, man! I am over freaking joyed!

But anyway … this album is not only our longest, but our fastest. Let me tell you why – we have refined our “clubhouse” recording method to the point where it has only taken us a year to write, record, and finish Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick … as opposed to five years with International House, two years with 2000 Years To Christmas. It’s the discipline of doing a monthly podcast (THIS IS BIG GREEN). It’s made us concentrate on actually finishing something, for chrissake. That runs against type in a real serious way. Our “type” is really more about sleeping. Serious sleeping.

But no more! It’s onward and upward from now on! Right … after I take a little …. nap …. zzzzzzzz.

Usual Rubbish

Was that a… truck?

Leave a comment

Did you hear beeping?Wait, I heard something. That beeping noise. Did you hear it? Go out and take a look, will you? I’ll just sit here and finish this cardboard sandwich. What? That’s the microwave beeping? Turn it off, then. There’s a good chap.

Oh, yes … hello. Just getting a little impatient here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill in beautiful (now roasting) upstate New York. It’s been so damn hot we can’t even manage to borrow enough electricity to run our fans, and now the refrigerator has gone south (looking for warmer climes, perhaps) and all of our provisions have gone sour. (Except for the lemons, which have turned strangely sweet in their spoilage.) Nothing to eat but cardboard. Here’s the good news: there’s not a lot of that, either.

I just sent Marvin (my personal robot assistant) out to greet the delivery van that will be dropping off the initial pressing of Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, Big Green’s ludicrous new album, hot off the digital presses. Its release date is July 31, but we are expecting advance copies any moment now. Though this is the fourth time in the last hour I’ve sent Marvin out to the brickyard, searching in vain for the UPS truck or the FEDEX van or some over-the-road tractor trailer. He’s about ready to revolt – in fact, I think he’s considering joining that terrifying band Captured By Robots again. I still have nightmares. (Not about that, obviously …. mostly other stuff.)

Hey, I’m looking out the window and I see the ass-end of a semi. Marvin is out there, making some unintelligible hand signals (or claw signals, I should say). They appear to be interpreting his gestures as encouragement to continue backing into our courtyard. This is getting exciting! Yes, they’re moving closer, turning the cab. I can see the side of the trailer now. Big letters that spell, “Mayflower Moving”. Hmmmm… I didn’t know they delivered packages.

Okay, I have to look into this further. Far from delivering anything, they appear to be taking things out of the Mill, like …. LIKE MY ARMY SURPLUS DESK AND CHAIR! LIKE MY DISCARDED MATTRESS! This is shaping up to be one hell of a week.

Usual Rubbish

What’s going on.

Leave a comment

Is that what busy looks like? Shut the front door! I had no idea it looked like that. Sakes alive.

Press record nowWell, once again, you are encountering me in the midst of some level of astonishment. Seems like I spend half of my life sore amazed and the other half just plain sore. (I am definitely in the sore second half.) Anyway, never mind my poor self control – these are indeed heady days here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill in now waterlogged upstate New York.  There’s so much shit hitting this fan, it’s hard to see your face through the fertilizer. Or something.

Here’s what we’ve got on the burner: lunch. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is heating up a can of soup. He doesn’t seem to understand that you need to TAKE THE SOUP OUT OF THE CAN BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN THE FIRE. (I’m hopeful that, if I raise my voice, he will begin to understand.) So if we hear a ‘splosion just before noon local time, we will likely know why. Soup in a can, friends. Keep it cool. That’s all I’ve got to say.

Beyond the lunch issue, there are other things happening round these parts. Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick has been sent to the distribution house and will soon be available in all the usual online outlets – iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, blah blah blah. We are also on the verge of pressing a limited run of discs – those should be ready by the end of July, maybe sooner. If you want one, tell Marvin next time you see him at your corner gin mill. (Lush!) Or just leave a comment on this post and let us know. Or visit our contact page.   

We’ve also got another episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN in production, with a fresh installment of Ned Trek. It’s Ned Trek #11, and you’ll hear it very soon. Weird? Yes. Childish and stupid? Perhaps. But you get what you expect, right? Big Green is nothing if not honest.

So, album … podcast … we’ve got it going on here at the hammer mill. Watch for the eerie glow of success. Or … something else.