Tag Archives: MAGA

Breach.

2000 Years to Christmas

Are they still up there? Hmmmm. I can’t hear them right now. Maybe the stereo drove them out, or the garlic, perhaps. I always thought those people would be trouble. Did I say “always”? I meant, uh, sometimes.

Well, this has been one hell of a week for everybody here in America, am I right? Here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, we might have been glued to the television all week if the cable company hadn’t discovered our illegal tap and pulled the plug on us. And then there was the electric company with their so-called “unpaid bills” and such. What part of abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill do they not understand? I mean, just because it’s a derelict, long-condemned building doesn’t mean it should be stricken from the grid like at scofflaw. I mean, we’re the scofflaws, people … it’s not the building’s fault that we’re squatting in it. Not really.

Anyway, as you know, over the past couple of years we’ve had some dyspeptic neighbors living upstairs in another section of the mill that we seldom visit, though it is often spoken of in legends. That notwithstanding, they have been problematic in the past with regard to, I don’t know, agreeing to little courtesies, like … not shooting us or not setting the mill on fire for kicks. (They like their kicks, these upstairs neighbors.) It was worst early on, but in recent months it had quieted down quite a bit, perhaps because of the COVID pandemic, but more likely because they got bored with intimidating us and turned their evil attentions elsewhere – to our friends squatting in the abandoned storefront across the street, for instance. Whatever misfortunes they may have visited on others, all was peace and contentment here in the hammer mill.

Holler all you want, dude. We don't have any bacon.

But that was not to last! (Dum, dum, dum!) They got all feisty with us again this week, and this time with the help of outside confederates. Now, when I say “confederates,” I’m not using that as an alternative for “friends” or “accomplices” – I mean confederates, like, the southern kind, waving the stars and bars. Those dudes as well as other denizens of the far right descended on this place like locusts. It took us a while, but we eventually worked out that they had mistaken the Cheney Hammer Mill for the federal building, which isn’t even located in our township. No matter – these MAGA hatted crazy people started scaling up the sides of the mill with those climbing cables. Not sure why they didn’t just come in through the open door and take the stairs up, but to each his own. They overran this place with as few as thirty people and started making themselves at home, except for one guy who stumbled upon our studio and started shouting “Olympus has fallen!” over and over again. (Seriously, I think these people are majorly confused about where we’re living.)

Yeah, so now we have a houseful of right-wing rioters, and nothing to offer them. My guess is that they will eventually get bored and go find someone else to kill, but until then …. hope they like banjo music!

White Rage.

There’s no reason to be surprised that the Trump administration would end in this way. His presidency was destined from the beginning to culminate in mayhem, insurrection, and smoke rising from the capitol. They wanted to deconstruct the administrative state, and they have largely been successful in that endeavor, but along the way they’ve also managed to detonate the legislative and judicial state as well. We haven’t previously seen a president refuse to accept the fact of his own electoral loss, so we have no experience with what impact that may have on a large segment of the populace. I think sometimes we actually underestimate the power of the presidency – it is an office of enormous influence, and even unpopular presidents are able to mobilize large numbers of ordinary people if they put their minds to it. That’s the slow-motion train wreck we saw impact our constitutional order this week.

The mob that descended on the U.S. capitol was met with mild resistance. I don’t think we’ve ever had a better illustration of the true nature of race and policing in America than this spectacle. I can hardly believe I’m typing these words, but a large number of right-wing rioters entered the houses of Congress, pushing their way past the guards, breaking in through windows, and occupied the chambers, lounged in the Speaker’s chair, hung from the walls, and planted explosive devices. Some paraded around with confederate ass-rags … I mean, “flags”, others with guns and zip-ties, as if they were planning to take hostages. What did the police do? At first, they took selfies with them. They certainly didn’t keep them out of THE CENTER OF LEGISLATIVE POWER IN THE UNITED STATES. “What the fuck” seems an inadequate response to this, but …. what the fuck.

Fortunate for the MAGA mob, they were white people. So their uprising was not countered with a solid wall of riot police in robocop gear with special weapons and armor and very short tempers. They were not forcibly driven back by large military units firing pepper balls and incendiaries, backed by tanks and MRAPs. They weren’t apprehended and abducted by government officers without badges, shoved into unmarked rented vans, and taken to the crowbar hotel. They weren’t shot in the head for protesting historic injustice against people of color. They didn’t have to worry about convoys of armored vehicles rolling through their neighborhoods, the officers inside barking threats at peaceful residents through loudspeakers, ordering them to stay inside their houses and keep away from the windows. They knew that, by default, the officers would see them as friendlies, not enemies, and that they would have to go way out of their way to change the officers’ minds about them.

In short, the people’s house was invaded this week by white people entitled to feel rage about something they can’t quantify and to act upon that rage in violent ways without consequence. That’s what America is all about … until we make it about something else.

luv u,

jp

Check out our political opinion podcast, Strange Sound.