I’m still a little lost here, so bear with me. Jesus. What the hell happened to the sun? Where is that flaming ball of gaseous energy? No one knows.

Yeah, big things are happening here at the Hammer Mill. Really big things. Like the giant garage sale Marvin (my personal robot assistant) has talked us all into participating in (and contributing to). That’s bigger than we really want it to be, frankly. For one thing, we don’t HAVE a garage. And if we DID have one, we wouldn’t sell it (we just got it in my imaginary world, for chrissake – what’s the matter with you, man?) Seriously, though, I think Marvin is selling everything we own, including all of our instruments. That’s like being up shit creek and selling your paddle in a garage sale. (In fact, it IS being up shit creek and selling the paddle… assuming some fool wants to buy it.)

I understand someone has offered $12 for my Roland A-90EX. That would be a fair piece of change…. if I set it on fire first. What the hell, Marvin…. how could you even THINK I would settle for that? A measly 12 bucks… what am I going to do with that? Rent a Wurlitzer for five minutes? You are living in a dream world, man…. and robots don’t dream. I’ve asked your inventor. He did not endow you with that capacity, so don’t say that you do. And another thing….!

Oh, damn. Didn’t mean to give you an inside look at our dissention in the ranks. Yeah, things are pretty rough around the edges in Big Green ville these days. Tempers are wearing thin… thin as the knees of our jeans. Ragged as the cuffs of our shirts. Threadbare as the ascot Lincoln still wears to dinner (even though we don’t do the ascot thing at dinner anymore – I’ve told him a dozen times!) Why, we may even resort to WORKING for a living. That may seem drastic to you, but it’s a real possibility. Don’t think we don’t have offers. (We don’t, but that’s another matter entirely.) There’s a little thing called opportunity … and a little thing called luck. One or the other of those little things may just get close enough to be considered a big thing here in the Cheney Hammer Mill.

Until that time, let’s just count our blessings, eh bandmates? And count our spoons, too, I hasten to add. EVERYTHING MUST GO? Marvin, for crying out loud…