Okay… this really WILL be short takes, because I have zero time to think about this.

Tea Party Rallies. “We want our country back?” Seriously? When did you lose it, exactly? You who appear to be richer, whiter, and more well educated than the rest of us. Last I looked you were doing pretty well. You’ve got a timid Democratic president, a cowardly Democratic congress, and a conservative judiciary. So how does this differ from four years ago when you ran everything? As recently as two years ago, you had a split Senate, the presidency, and a narrow minority in the House. No one has raised your taxes. No one wants your guns. Obama’s going to drill baby drill. W.t.f., come back when you’ve got something to complain about.

Palintology. Speaking of tea parties, Sarah Palin strikes me like some annoying neighbor up the street who has a voice like a grammar school bugle (as well as an upcoming show on Animal Planet that I encourage you to join Defenders of Wildlife in protesting.) I would say she annoys me, but I know that’s the whole point of her – annoying leftists – so I refuse to cooperate. So instead I’ll just say…. HOWDY, NEIGHBOR! Or should I give a nod to Jello Biafra and just say, “SIEG HOWDY!”? 

Help yourself. Looks like ACORN got punked. Big surprise there. A group that works with poor people, helping them register to vote and make ends meet in some of the most impoverished communities in America. What a perfect target for right-wing screwballs! Of course, the famed videos were creatively edited (that jerk-ass pseudo journalist wasn’t wearing his pimp getup and exculpatory footage was deliberately excised). But no matter – success was had, mainly because the useless thing that passes for a party of the left (with a handful of honorable exceptions) would not rise in their defense (since they mostly represent bankers). Lesson: The right wins when the left folds. Want to win? Stop folding.

That’s all I’ve got. I’m freaking tired.

luv u,

jp