Aye, grim and foreboding it was, with the smell of decaying hulks hanging heavy in the air around us.

Okay, Mitch. Next time we want to stop the Tabunga, we’ll give you a call.

I like civilization. I like indoor plumbing. I like having more than one dry cleaner to choose from. And just for the record, I hate fucking plantains!

Nothing for sustenance but coconuts and coconut milk and… and coconut sorbet.

In the titanic battle between Big Green and gravity, gravity won and won big.

It appears we’ve been issued a one-way ticket to Kerplackistan.

So we though we might have Quality Lincoln take the helm for the last dog leg of the tour. Big mistake.

Just try to get a straight answer around here! I even get prevarication with math questions, for chrissake.

A big cowboy howdee of thanks to honest Abe Lincoln for booking us into this hell hole.

This is it – truly it. No, I don’t mean just any “it” – I mean the real thing.