I think we need more compression on the mids. No, more than that – I can still hear my voice. What do you mean I’m paranoid? Does everybody think that?? Whoops – didn’t think anyone was listening. (See… I’m not paranoid!) That’s right, I’m here at my lonely console, cloth-eared, putting the finishing touches on … Continue reading Out of control.
Hmmm. I think we need to circle back that way. You see that church over there? We should hang a left right there. Right, I said left. Right, you heard me. Left. RIGHT, LEFT!! I need a freaking chauffeur, and that’s a fact, friends. Damn this poverty! Damn our puny residuals checks! Damn you, Marvin … Continue reading This way lies madness.
What’s the matter with me? I thought I put that thing away about an hour ago. My mind is becoming unhinged. (Did it have a hinge to begin with? And if so, what was it hinge-ing upon?) Weighty questions indeed. That’s what you get here at the hammer mill… the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, that … Continue reading Landlord blues.
Through the glass darkly. That was our trip home. Better believe it, my friend. (Jesus freaking Christ…. if I say “my friends” again, I’ll turn into John McCain. And we can’t have that… not with all these Lincolns around.) Okay, well, so I’m not such a good pilot. I kind of already knew that – … Continue reading Crashing on the couch.
Hmmm… thought I shut that thing down. Lincoln – have you been using this computer again? How ’bout you, Anti-Lincoln? Big Zamboola? Right. Must’ve been the other ones. Man god damn. Oh, hi. Lucky thing you’re reading this, really. Some of our Big Green travel associates have been monopolizing our one reliable connection to the … Continue reading Put out.
Did you hear what I heard? Was that… sleigh bells? That can only mean one thing. That’s right, children… it’s the sound of jolly old fire alarm. The engines are burning up. Yes, yes… Christmas freaking day. Don’t you just love this time of year? (Judging by your reaction, perhaps “love” was the wrong word.) … Continue reading Happy what-ness.
What’s that, tubey? Losing pressure? Damn shame, that. And the gravity control is malfunctioning? Criminy. Oh, heck… there goes our navigation console. Reduced to molten lead. Sometimes things just don’t go right in deep space. Hi, Big Green fans. Yes, well… we’ve finally gotten off the ground, pulling away from the Cancri 55 solar system … Continue reading Danger amidships.
I’m sure that wasn’t right, tubey. No, no… I’m telling you. Countdowns start with larger numbers and end with the smaller ones. What part of that do you not understand? Freaking root vegetables! Hello, Big Green-a-zoids… and may I also say, GREETINGS FROM OUTER SPAAAACCE!! Yes indeed, since we last spoke (or exchanged cyber glimpses) … Continue reading Freakend.
If this is prehistory, what the hell was yesterday? And if the universe is infinite, where the hell does it end? And if God is both infallible and omnipotent, how come s/he can’t make mistakes? Questions, questions, questions! Oh, how you vex me with your endless inquisitiveness! What was that? I was asking those questions? … Continue reading Dinos.
Settle down, now. That’s right. Keep calm. (Zamboola – grab the net!) That’s right, nobody’s gonna’ harm you. (Not that net, you idiot… the fishing net!) Nice monster…. Whoops, sorry. Didn’t mean to ignore you. Just kind of got our hands full over here in Big Green-land. (No, not Greenland…. Big Green land. Just a … Continue reading M-m-m-monster!