All posts by Joe

Endless.

President Obama is committing another 17,000 soldiers to the war in Afghanistan, we learned this week. Characterized even by liberals as “the good war” some time back, our occupation of that sorry place has begun its eighth year. That’s reaching Iran/Iraq war duration, and lord knows that conflict went on way too long. Only 18% of Afghans are in favor of this escalation, along with 34% of Americans (predictably higher, since we’re not the ones being surged upon). So why the hell are we still in Afghanistan, anyway? I’ve heard a lot of arguments, but none seem all that convincing, frankly – no more so than the ones I heard back when Bush decided post 9/11 to descend upon the basket case his predecessors left behind years earlier, after bankrolling fanatics like Gulbeddin Hekmatyar and their terror-league allies for a decade or more. In 2001, Bush Jr. traded one set of war lords for another. What’s Obama’s plan?

I think before we as an imperial nation (don’t fight it – that’s what we are) can make that decision, we need to get used to the notion that we have no right to be there in the first place, and that occupying that country does not make us safer. Yes, yes… Osama Bin Laden lived there when 9/11 took place, but the essential planning and preparation for that hideous crime occurred not in the mountains of Afghanistan but in Germany and the United States. To this day, our government still doesn’t understand the nature of these decentralized terror groups. Our C.I.A. brags about killing senior leadership and decapitating the organization, as if Al Qaeda were organized like General Motors. It’s not. Preventing 9/11-type attacks is going to take something other than an endless supply of drone-fired missiles. For one thing, it will require more creative thinking at home with respect to prevention. Those fuckers used our own ramshackle air transportation system and our own lax building standards against us on that fateful day. My guess is that they’ll try to do the same again – identify a weakness and drive a metaphorical (or not) truck bomb through it. Just the other day, I heard the owner of nuclear power plants in my part of New York State complaining about NRC requirements for hardening new reactors against plane-crash attacks. Then there’s food safety. Yikes.

There is also the supply side of the equation to consider. We’ve got to stop making more terrorists. The Iraq war has created four million refugees – more than two million of them are stuck in squalid quarters in Jordan and Syria. Most will never see their homes again, since their neighborhoods were ethnically cleansed. That mass of dispossessed people provides fertile ground for future extremist attacks against us and anyone allied with us. They and the millions of Palestinians still rotting in refugee camps are understandably angry with the Middle East order we worked so hard to build. I’m not talking about the fantasy Middle East George Bush used to wax poetic about – I mean the actual one we’ve invested in over the past sixty years, through our deep involvement in regional affairs, our support for despotic regimes, our bankrolling of Israeli expansionism in the West Bank and adventures in Lebanon. For so many, we have been the enemy for many years – Bush merely sealed the deal. What we do from this point forward is crucial to any chance for peace in this already bloody century.

The best way to be safe is not to incentivize violence against yourself. Sending more troops, more drones, and more bombs is exactly the wrong way to go about it.

luv u,

jp

Moving up.

Ow! Bloody roofing beams! Are bicycle helmets always made of styrofoam? I thought they employed something slightly harder in their construction. No? Gotcha. Anyway…. ow!

Oh, hi out there in cyberland. No, we haven’t elected to return to interstellar space after only one full week back on Earth. Lawd, no. I’m cracking my skull on the roof beams of our beloved abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, here on terra firma. I and my Big Green colleagues are being subjected to yet another one of Mitch Macaphee’s haywire mad-science experiments involving gravity, sunlight, air thickness, blah-blah-blah. I don’t know what all else, as they say. In any case, he’s got the gravity component of it right… in as much as we ain’t got any. Somehow Mitch has stumbled upon a formula (or process) for selectively negating gravity without the aid of, say, a jet pack or motorized propeller beanie. I think he does it with dominos… stacks them end-to-end. (Don’t ask me how it works, ’cause I just don’t know.)

All right, so what this means is that instead of walking around on the floor, we’re all bumping around on the ceiling. And it’s annoying, frankly. Though I think Marvin (my personal robot assistant) has probably adapted himself to the situation more effectively than anyone. He’s got those retractable foot-wheels, you see, so he just flips himself upside-down and rolls about like a ski-lift gondola. Very efficient little s.o.b., I must admit. I guess after a few years you get used to these little experiments. This one’s irritating, but not as bad as some of the other things Mitch has tried over the years. There was that one time he worked on turning standard bricks into uranium 235. (Note: this whole freaking building is made out of bricks.) Then there was that time he found a way to turn air into fire. (Though that may have been a natural gas leak – we’ve never been quite sure.)

Under the best of circumstances, it’s difficult to get work done around here. It’s a little harder without gravity, I should say. Nevertheless, we’ve managed to put our noses to the grindstone once again, working on our next release. This will be a strange one, mark my words. Now… I know a lot of you thought the last two were strange. And let’s face it, International House is just plain peculiar. (I’ll tell you, I’ve listened to that sucker over and over again, and I still don’t know what those crazy mo-fo’s are talking about.) Nonetheless, selections from International House and from our first album, 2000 Years To Christmas, are being played on several suitably bizarre podcasts, including Bloodthirsty Vegetarians (thanks, Rich!) and PaganFM. So, strange notwithstanding, we’re moving ahead with yet another charred offering of audio madness. Gravity or no gravity – this mother is in production!

One favor, though. Can someone hand me my guitar tuner? I can’t reach it from the ceiling.

Choices

Not sure how I got through last week’s rant without some mention of the elections in Iraq, fledgling democracy under our protective and nurturing (right) wing. Though the official results may not be in for some time, the winner appears to be Prime Minister Maliki’s Dawa party, at the expense of the more religious Supreme Islamic Iraqi Council (formerly the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq, an exile group formed in Iran during the Iran/Iraq war, now enjoying close ties to both Washington and Tehran). Probably the most interesting thing about these provincial elections – something underreported in the U.S. press – is the degree to which this was a vote for an end to the U.S. occupation. The status of forces agreement that Maliki negotiated with Bush late last year pretty strongly rejects any enduring U.S. presence on Iraqi soil – no permanent bases, etc. If that agreement is acted on as drafted, we’ll be out in a matter of months. Bush essentially signed what he termed a “cut and run” pact, and Maliki is seeing some of the benefit of that. He’s also benefiting from the reduction in violence and his preference for maintaining Iraq’s territorial integrity. But it can be seen as yet another referendum on Bush. Good grief.

This week, of course, was the election in Israel. Not sure what to say about a poll that puts the party founded by Ariel Sharon a narrow first, the one headed by Bibi Netanyahu second, and the one whose standard bearer is an overt racist (Avigdor Lieberman) third. Not that there was a major party peace option here – the attack on Gaza that killed 1,300 Palestinians was prosecuted by the leader of fourth-place Labor, Israel’s traditional center-left party. One is tempted to cry, as V.S. Naipaul did in a very different context, a million mutinies now! How is it that a nation of smart people can give themselves such abysmal leadership? For chrissake, Lieberman is essentially the lynchpin of the next Israeli government, with emphasis on the term “lynch”. He has advocated “execution” and transfer for Israeli Arabs, and ran on a promise to make them swear a loyalty oath. (Reminds me of that bizarre loyalty oath crusade in Catch-22, where you would have to sign one before entering the mess hall, getting your chow, sitting down at your table, etc., etc.) Where is this headed?

Of course, we have our own little problems here. I’ve heard our beloved secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, stating the new administration’s policy that we will not speak with Hamas unless they 1) renounce violence, 2) recognize Israel’s right to exist, and 3) abide by all past agreements signed between Israel and the Palestinian authority. Sounds great… except that we consistently fail to ask the same of Israel. They have never renounced violence – quite the opposite, to the point where it has eroded their national character in a very sorry fashion. They have never recognized the Palestinian’s right to exist within any reasonable borders – like the 22% of historic Palestine that is not in Israel proper. Not satisfied with nearly 4/5 of a loaf, they have continued to build settlements and related infrastructure in the West Bank in violation of all agreements with the Palestinians, through good times and bad. When will they abide by those agreements?

Anyway… then there’s Dennis Blair, our new director of national intelligence, and a former liaison to the murderous Indonesian government during some of its worst actions in East Timor. Read Allan Nairn’s postings on Blair to learn how he provided cover for some pretty heinous crimes back during the Clinton administration. This is change? Note to Obama: change this menace the hell out.

luv u,

jp

 

Dump, sweet dump.

A little more to the left. I said LEFT! (Schmucks…) Little more…. little more… good. Okay, now we need another one for the north wall. Hurry… I think I hear the sound of bricks crumbling.

Oh, hi. Didn’t notice you there on the other side of the computer screen. Greetings from the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, just one week after our triumphant return from the great beyond (where we do nearly all of our performances). Did I say triumphant? Wrong word. Ignominious is a better fit to the circumstances. What can I tell you? Broken down spacecraft (nothing new there). Problematic re-entry (nearly a burn-up, as it happened). Crash landing on solid ground (ouch!). Limping home in disgrace (with the exception of the man-sized tuber, who had to be wheeled in a cart… being a vegetable and all…). Being met at the Hammer Mill door by virtually an entire police department (investigating an abandoned space vehicle complaint… and yes, it was down to us). So that thing about “triumphant?” Yeah…. just forget it.

Okay, well… it took a couple of days to clear up that whole police thing. They took us down to the station, fingerprinted us, scanned our retinas, etc. Keen to unpack from our long interstellar sojourn, we scraped together enough bail to get the human contingent out of there – that left Marvin (my personal robot assistant), the tuber, and Big Zamboola behind bars for a few hours while we called the local bail bondsman. As it happened, they set a pretty stiff bail for Zamboola, mainly because of the impracticality of keeping a celestial body (with its own gravity) in a holding cell. Marvin they let go on his own recognizance. (He was talking to them while they worked and, well… it got kind of annoying, I think. He started telling them about his anvil collection. Sheesh.)

Once the bribe… I mean, bail was paid and we had a chance to re-acclimate ourselves to positive gravity, it became obvious that things hadn’t been going very well at the Cheney Hammer Mill in our absence. No, those mongooses (mongeese?) hadn’t come back, though that remains a very real possibility. No, it wasn’t once again occupied by either pirates or space creatures, nor by denizens of middle earth…. nor cavemen. (Did someone say mimes? No, no mimetic infestation as of yet.) No, it was more in the way of general dilapidation. Frankly, the place is falling to pieces. No great surprise, right? I mean, the foundation is literally crumbling beneath our feet. (Especially Mitch Macaphee’s feet. He’s been putting on a little weight lately… not from good eating, you understand, but from some arcane experiment he’s running on himself… something to do with increasing his specific gravity to nearly five times its original value. We now call him “titanic man” behind his back.)

So anyway, we’ve been down in the catacombs, the arches, the basement… whatever, shoring up the beams with spare timbers. Not a lot of those left…. we may need to use something else. Oh, tubey! Got a job for you!

Money for nothing.

The Obama administration and members of congress of both parties are still sparring over the stimulus package as I write these words. Now, I’ve mostly heard from Republicans on the topic this week (because I listen to NPR), and they seem determined to characterize everything in the bill that is not a tax cut as “wasteful spending,” as “pork,” etc. Not sure they quite grasp the concept of Keynesian stimulus in this context at least. That’s the general impression I’m getting. They are philosophically welded to tax cuts – specifically, capital gains tax cuts and those that benefit the wealthy disproportionately. That’s all they ever talk about, practically. And though more than a third (now, 42%) of the stim package is just that, they’re still squawking. Their idea of “compromise” is having the other side sign on to their program. Once would hope that’s not going to happen, but with the Democrats, anything is possible (though Obama does seem to be showing a little spine on this issue lately).

Still, it’s a little frustrating to hear almost exclusively from the Republicans on this question… especially when it was their ideas that brought us to this crisis in the first place. I guess it’s back to Clinton rules again, where the opposition sets the agenda and the news media just rolls along with the current. The press is like this enormous beast with a thousand mouths and one eye. It peers through a microscope at one item – like Tom Daschle dropping out – and the mouths all start flapping away. So even though Obama goes on every major news program to talk about the financial crisis, the portion you hear is his response to the Daschle thing. They’re still obsessing about it days later (Jim Lehrer probed David Axelrod about it just Friday night), pausing only to comment on how Obama seems unable to get his message across on the stimulus package. Meanwhile, another 600,000 have lost their jobs.

Of course, this feigned outrage over Keynesian stimulus is just plain absurd. The Republicans practice it all the time, enthusiastically. They brag about it. It’s called the military budget. That baby is packed full of all kinds of high ticket items that are utterly useless, but that are nonetheless produced in Congressional districts all across the country. Essential stuff like Virginia-class submarines (about $2 billion a piece), F-22 raptors ($300 million plus a piece), and, of course, everyone’s favorite endless boondoggle, “missile defense”, which really should be named “defense contractor defense”, because it’s the gift that keeps on giving. These great Republican defenders of the public purse vote for these projects time and time again, sluicing billions of dollars into the sink hole that is military procurement, while all other human needs are neglected… including those of our military personnel!

So the next time you see one of these sorry-looking Senators stride up to the rostrum and wave the draft stimulus package around in the air, just think about all those Virginia class submarines we’ll be sending into the Hindu Kush next spring. Your tax dollars hard at work.

luv u,

jp

Five words.

Gosh, but it’s great to be back home! My favorite five words in the alphabet. Wait… did I say something? Did someone just say something…?

Whoa, sorry, friends. I’m a little woozy after that hard landing the other day. Did I mention our landing was hard? Well, if I didn’t (and I do believe I did), let me tell you… it was HARD. We more or less followed the re-entry instructions Urich found tucked under the navigation console (it was buried in coffee grounds and cigarette butts, but still readable). His angle of descent was a bit too steep, perhaps, and the second-hand Soyuz capsule heated to the traditional 450 degrees Kelvin. That was the first piece of difficulty. The second? No water landings with Russian spacecraft. We were forced to find open ground somewhere within walking distance of our long-term squat at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill. (Why walking distance? No cab fare. And it’s not like we’ve got the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln out there trawling for us…. even though we have not one but two Lincolns on board.)

So, down and down and down we went. Objects on the ground became larger and larger. I could see my own broken down car – a crispy 1989 Honda Civic – and Mitch Macaphee could even see a pair of cufflinks he lost last summer at one point. That’s when it dawned on him that we were getting close… too close. Soon we could see even smaller objects… pinheads, protozoa, large molecules, smaller ones…. then, CRACK! We came to a kind of sudden stop. I think we all lost several inches in height – particularly Marvin (my personal robot assistant), who may have compacted one of his hip-gimbals. (He’ll need to consult with Dr. Macaphee on that, no doubt.) My teeth seem to move around a lot more than they did last week. Oh, and the man-sized tuber has a greater specific gravity than he did before. (Mother… now I know why they call it CRACK.)

Okay, so Big Green (like master) is in the cold, cold ground – then what? Well, we did manage to land (by sheer good fortune… nothing to do with piloting skill, I can assure you) within walking distance of the Cheney Hammer Mill. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy limping distance, so it took the better part of an afternoon getting over there. (Lincoln and anti-Lincoln grousing all the way, of course…. If I have to come back there again!) In fact, it took us so bloody long that the local constables beat us to the door. So how, you may ask, were we able to run afoul of the law in such a short time on Earth? Well… our Soyuz capsule is apparently considered hazardous waste… not surprising, since it is chock full of noxious chemical substances and was found lying squashed like a cigarette butt in the middle of a beet field. We should have taken Mitch’s advice and set the freaking thing on fire before we limped off into the sunset. Live and learn.

Live and learn? $4,000 for hazardous waste removal? W.t.f. – that’s our entire take from this last few weeks, assuming Zenonian drachmas are still convertible to genuine U.S. currency. (That’s assuming a lot, I will admit.) Easy come… easy go.

Party favors.

Obama came rolling into office bipartisan guns a-blazin’. He met with congressional Republicans. He met with conservative columnists. He courted, compromised, and curried favor, but never seriously called them out on their incessant whining about insufficient (in their view) tax relief contained within the president’s stimulus plan. Birth control provisions were dropped, tax cuts added. In the end, the stimulus package was far more modest on infrastructure related items than most economists think is demanded by a crisis of this magnitude. (100,000 jobs cut this week alone – good grief!) And yet, when it came to a vote in the House, not one Republican supported it. My first reaction to this news was, well… okay, then can we have the original package back – the one Democrats could have passed two weeks ago? What the hell – the G.O.P. acts like a dog that can’t eat all his food, so he pisses on it. So much for bipartisan good will.

Personally, I think this notion of bipartisanship is way overvalued. For one thing, the ultimate expression of it is the one-party state (and we practically have that now). Aside from that, I don’t see the point in bending over backwards to bring the G.O.P. along if it means adopting a large portion of their program – namely, the same supply-side, deregulatory, neoliberal nonsense that got us into this mess in the first place. Sure, a lot of Democrats – probably most – helped get us here as well, but they have become born-again Keynesians in the face of this almost unprecedented economic meltdown. Republicans are still selling the same old soap as before, whether it’s McCain talking or Boehner or that brown haired buy who isn’t Boehner: tax cuts. Not only that, but “fast-acting” tax cuts… which is to say the same kind as Bush passed (mostly benefiting the rich) with the term “fast-acting” stitched on to make it sound as though the savings would land in anyone’s pocket before May 2010.

They’ve got it ass-backwards, of course. We need to raise taxes on all those folks who made out like bandits over the past 25 years (and particularly since Bush’s last two rounds of tax cuts), including those Merrill execs who took multi-million dollar bonuses home from their failed company. We need to slap excess profit taxes on the oil companies retroactive to the last eighteen months or so. We need to slash the ludicrously bloated Pentagon budget, repurposing the billions mindlessly sluiced into useless aircraft carriers, Virginia-class submarines, joint-strike fighters, and missile defense, into useful projects. We should do all this and more, whether Republicans sit on their hands or not.

He’s back. New Yorkers now have a new senator, a relatively conservative Democrat named Kirsten Gillibrand whom animal rights activists have dubbed “New York’s Sarah Palin” (with some justice, as she is a gun nut / hunting freak). A bit unnerving to me was the sight of Al D’Amato on the podium at her public introduction… standing right behind her. Apparently he’s an old family friend. Gaaaack. It took us 18 years to get that asshole out of the Senate… only so that Patterson could name one of his surrogates. Some justice there.

luv u,

jp

Landfall.

Hot enough for you? 450 degrees Kelvin, Mitch tells me. (That’s about 350 for all you Fahrenheit fiends.) Urich, you got your eye on that splash-down point? That’s it? Are you sure? Looks like freaking solid ground to me…

Well, as you may have surmised, Big Green is just now wrapping up its launch tour for our new album, International House, and is headed back home through that ever-thickening blanket of atmosphere that surrounds planet Earth (our seasonal home). And as the more discerning amongst you may have noted, our re-entry method leaves a bit to be desired. You see, Big Green’s pilot on this outing – a certain Urich Von Braun, reputedly the last surviving member of a little-known German kamikaze squadron – is a “driver” (as George W. Bush would put it) of airplanes. Spacecraft? Well, not so much. Anyway… this re-entry phenomenon is kind of a new thing for him, and while he’s a quick learner, it’s the sort of situation that doesn’t allow for a whole lot of trial and error. We’ve been supporting him in every way we can think of – bringing him drinks, digging up the circa-1975 instructions on how to land a Soyuz, giving him pep talks, etc., but I must admit… I don’t have a real good feeling about this landing.

Take the instructions (please). Urich has read them and he seems to be pointing the ship towards solid ground. I always thought the idea was for a splash-down type landing. But now I’m told by Marvin (my personal robot assistant) that the Russians always landed somewhere out in Kazakhstan, hopefully in an open field. So now… I don’t know if that means we’re going to Kazakhstan or someplace slightly closer to our actual home in upstate New York – namely, the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill (right now, abandoned even by the gaggle of squatters it usually houses). On John’s suggestion, Matt devised a kind of bomb-sight device for him with crosshairs hastily scratched into it using a pen knife. (Best we could manage.) I keep trying to get him to point the sucker towards water of some kind, but Urich is a pilot who pretty much follows his own counsel. (The result of Kamikaze training, I suspect.) If he wants to point at a slag heap outside a stone quarry, that’s where we’re going, concussions be damned.

That being the case, the only one likely to come out of this without any serious bruises is the man-sized tuber (AIM screenname ManSizedTuber… just so you know). He is, as you know, a large root vegetable and, as such, an extremely gnarly character who doesn’t bruise easily. This is just as well, since he is the one who put together that video for our new song “High Horse” – our mock-country satirical contribution to the George W. Bush legacy project. It’s been up on YouTube for a week now, and it’s got maybe 250 hits thus far… not exactly a screaming viral hit, but not bad for something submitted by a root vegetable. Reviews so far have been good, but I’m trying to keep him real on his expectations. Not sure it’s necessary. As I said, he’s got a pretty thick skin. You might even call it a husk or rind, perhaps. Not easy to get through to that boy, no sir.

So anyway… I can see my house from space, and it’s getting bigger and bigger with every passing minute. And as much as that sounds like a good thing, it’s… really… not….

First look.

Welcome to the third presidency of this humble blog. I started posting this screed back in 1999. (Who can doubt that cawing pterodactyls carried my postings to the server in their enormous, leathery beaks?) Certainly this is the most highly anticipated administration of the three and, I firmly believe, of the past 40 years. The phenomenal crowd at Obama’s inauguration was evidence of that. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen so many people that happy to be standing out in the cold. Expectations are high, no doubt of that…. perhaps unreasonably so. Still, it is a little hard not to feel uplifted by that spectacle, just as the sight of those people in Chicago on election night was something of a thrill. It makes you feel as though we’ve arrived at a whole different kind of place in America, even if just for a moment. Nice feeling. Though, speaking personally, an even nicer feeling was had when I saw Bush climb aboard that helicopter and fly away, far far away, to the land of yesteryear. Gone for good… and I do mean “good”. That was worth the price of my ticket.

Well, that part is over. And here comes the next thing. Untangling the unholy mess that Bush and company made of the economy is going to be the fight of the century, particularly if we are going to attempt to move the nation in a progressive direction for a difference. Will Obama’s stimulus package accomplish this? Not in and of itself. (That one-third portion of G.O.P.-appeasing tax cuts, certainly not.) But I can tell you, there must be something worth doing in there, because the Republican leadership is screaming bloody murder. You can hear the whining from outer space. Some freak G.O.P. congressman was on MSNBC complaining that infrastructure projects would take two years to get rolling and that direct aid to states in the form of unemployment benefits and food stamps would run out in two years. No shit, congressman. Any other insights you’d like to share? Clearly, these fuckers would prefer more massive tax cuts to the richest Americans, since this is the only kind of “stimulus” they seem to understand. Trouble is, they don’t work. Whether or not they agree with the Obama package, you’d think current circumstances would compel them to admit that the same old thing is not what we need right now.

We’d be well advised to keep this in mind: those who wish to undo the remnants of the New Deal and the Great Society are hoping to use this crisis towards that end. And don’t think I’m singling out Republicans – there are plenty of Democrats on that bandwagon as well. As Naomi Klein has pointed out more than once, natural disasters, wars, and economic upheaval present great opportunities to roll back public goods, like social programs, public housing, etc. People are in shock and disoriented to the point where the powerful can pull the rug out on them before they even know what’s happening. You can hear the mutterings about this now. For instance, we have just witnessed massive infusions of public cash into private enterprise. That has not to any reasonable extent translated into public ownership of those companies. Instead, I keep hearing the topic of “entitlements” being raised as something that must be addressed. Is that how we are to pay the tab for A.I.G., Goldman, and CitiGroup?

So… sure, I celebrate the end of another Bush era – one particularly more noxious than the first. That said, we will need to be particularly vigilent in the months ahead.

luv u,

jp

Slight return.

Don’t usually post on a Tuesday, but since this is such a momentous day – i.e. Bush’s last as president – I thought I’d drop in for a quick YEEEE-HAAAA! Just think of it… today is the day all of those 01-20-09 stickers briefly turn into calendars.

Be that as it may, here is (for those of you who haven’t seen it) Big Green’s “High Horse” video, a ludicrous farewell to the Bush administration. Celebrate, kids.

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