Got another pencil? This one’s a little scratchy. You know – dull. And there ain’t no pencil sharpener on this here space ship. Hmmm…. could be a lyric. Got to write that down… if I just had a PENCIL.
Oh, hiya. You’ve come upon us in mid-passage, once again. We’re meandering our way into deep, deep space, heading for some place a bit more congenial to the particular brand of music we’ve dedicated ourselves to. (What brand is that? Not sure how to answer you. Try my brand.) Having left Neptune under something of a cloud, Big Green is setting its sites on the mysterious deep space object known as Kaztropharius 137b, where we had a substantial following a few tours back. (You know… way back in, what, 2003 or 2002? Can’t rightly recall. Do a Google search on Kaztropharius and then tell me.) Now, I don’t think I have to tell you that Kaztropharius 137b is quite a long ways away from here. It’s actually close to Zenon, the home planet of our sit-in guitarist sFshzenKlyrn somewhere in the depths of the Small Magellanic Cloud. (And when I say “close,” I mean 40 or 50 light years up the track. So…. close-ish.) And if you think everything’s big in Texas, well, you haven’t been to Kaztropharius 137b. That place makes Texas look like a sandbox full of porcelain miniatures. But I digress.
So anyway…. we’re making our way across the trackless void of space, occupying ourselves with whatever bands do when they’re not doing what bands do. You know – practicing, sleeping, reading, drinking, experimenting, making lists. I’m on the list thing right now, as it 
happens. Trying to sketch out a couple of sets for our first night on Kaztropharius. Of course, some might say that’s the easy part… it’s actually learning how to play the songs that takes some effort. Fair enough. That comes later in my world. (Much…. much later…)
Matt seems inclined to kick off a set with something like Special Blood, our homage to 70’s television’s “The Immortal”, starring Chris George (for the five minutes it was on). That usually gets the Kaztropharians hopping around like … well, like colossal hopping things. (Kaztropharians are, on average, about 60 feet tall.) Strange that they would respond so positively to a song about a short-lived terrestrial television show, but…. they do. I think it’s because they are only now receiving T.V. transmissions from the 1970s, so it might seem like very current material indeed. Though if it were the case that they happen to be big (or even colossal) Immortal fans, watching it religiously every Thursday, you’d think they might find this verse kind of disappointing:
Canceled, canceled, canceled, canceled
They took my pictures away
Canceled, canceled, canceled, canceled
They threw my series away
I was immortal but the show was stupid
Too stupid to last a day
I mean, you hate to be the one to break it to them that their favorite T.V. show has three weeks to live. Still, like the Zenites, Kaztropharians appear to live in an asynchronous netherworld where the usual laws of space and time do not apply. (Also, they play soccer with ping pong balls and eat peas with a knife. But that’s beside the point!) So maybe it doesn’t matter. I just hope they don’t get drunk and start throwing bottles again. (Their beer bottles are the size of a Buick.)
Okay, well… it seems Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is equipped with a pencil sharpener (right next to the cappuccino spigot). So … back to work with me!
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