When the queen of England died last week, I felt bad for the 96-year-old human being that she was, a lady about the age of my late mother. I take no joy in the death of anyone, even people I’m not crazy about, so all due condolences to her family who, I hear, are planning a quiet little funeral. Did I say little? I meant large … in fact, six billion pounds worth of funeral. Such is the institution of the British monarchy – still crazy after all these years.
No, I’m not a fan of “The Royals”. I watched The Crown on Netflix or whatever, and it was mildly entertaining in a slightly nuanced gossipy kind of way. (They went way too easy on Thatcher and made Robert Kennedy look like a cheap wing man for his wife-beating brother the President.) But generally I avoid T.V. dramas about royalty mostly because it bores the living piss out of me. Then there’s that small matter of imperialism, but let’s try to keep our thoughts positive, eh, what?
They’re changing the guard at Thirty-Rock palace
I have to say, though, that I’ve been take a little aback by the degree of monarch worship on display on the purported left-leaning news channel MSNBC. I’m not sure if they’re drowning in their own tears or just drooling themselves to death, particularly on the set of Morning Joe, which is really just the Reagan/Bush administrations resurrected in the form of a talk show. It’s kind of ironic to hear them railing against the tyranny of Trump one day, then waxing poetic about the late Empress of the Realm.
If this is the reaction from the left-leaning news outlet, I can’t even imagine what the right-wingers are saying, other than Hunter Biden killed her or something to that effect. Still, it does make me wonder what the source of this royals adulation might be. I see it in friends and acquaintances, their attachment to this deeply problematic institution only deepened by the pomp and circumstance beamed at them from every television set, smart phone, tablet, etc.
No tears in Nairobi
Because Elizabeth II symbolically embodied the empire itself, she necessarily carries a great deal of imperial baggage. One of the more searing examples of British colonial thuggery was in Kenya, where as Caroline Elkins describes, the empire imprisoned more than 1 million Kikuyu in fortified villages, reminiscent of the strategic hamlet program in Vietnam and modeled after the Brit’s own murderous strategy in Malaya. These “native reserves” were the site of sickening abuse:
They used electric shock and hooked suspects up to car batteries. They tied suspects to vehicle bumpers with just enough rope to drag them to death. They employed burning cigarettes, fire, and hot coals. They thrust bottles (often broken), gun barrels, knives, snakes, vermin, sticks, and hot eggs up men’s rectums and into women’s vaginas. They crushed bones and teeth; sliced off fingers or their tips; and castrated men with specially designed instruments or by beating a suspect’s testicles “till the scrotum burst,” according to Anglican church officials. (Elkins, via The Nation)
This was under Elizabeth II’s watch, in a country that was of particular interest to her. Plenty of blame to go around, but …. really?
Sun never sets on something new
Kenya was nothing new in the British colonial enterprise. I feel I owe it to the victims of that centuries-long project to not join in the near-fanatical worship of this departed demi-god. Seems like the least we can do, really.
luv u,
jp
