Electrodes to power! Turbines to speed! Hand on the main throttle, Marvin (my personal robot assistant)! Man, that’s hard to say with any urgency.
Oh, hi. Caught us in full-on crisis mode here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, as of now Planet Earth’s first line of defense against the menace of stray comets invading the inner rings of our solar system (where most of us reside). Or so it would appear. Seems like the planetary defense systems maintained by major world governments have been caught asleep at the wheel on this one, so bloody hell, it’s up to us to save Earth’s bacon. And its beans. And, of course, its life-giving stilton cheese. I could go on, but again … we’re in CRISIS mode.
You’ve no doubt heard of the dry alien comet named “Comet 67P”? The European Union has just landed a probe on its surface with the intent of drilling into it. My guess is that they’re looking for shale oil, though they vehemently deny that. Anyway, fracking or no, this has surely invoked the comets ire, as we have been reliably informed by our mad science adviser Mitch Macaphee. We had a pretty shrill Skype conversation last night during which he explained the whole thing to yours truly and my fellow Big Green denizens. Something to do with Baratold rays and a slight shift in field density. All the science, I don’t understand! But I must take Mitch’s word for it.
Anywho, the comet is good and angry. Wouldn’t you be, too, if the EU had dropped a probe on you and ordered it to drill into your face? I know I would. Damned annoying. So Comet 67P is intent on crashing into the Earth’s surface – a kind of cosmic “How do you like it?”, I guess. Our only defense against this interstellar suicide bomber? Trevor James Constable’s abandoned Orgone Generating Device. Mitch told us to point the array in the general direction of the approaching comet and crank it up to eleven. Sounds as good a method as any. That’s supposed to counteract the comet manitou and correct the space time continuum … or something. (Mitch was talking fast.)
So, look … if it works, you should be seeing our podcast drop in the next few days. If it doesn’t, well … not to put too fine a point on it, but … likely you won‘t see the podcast drop.
