Back to the ongoing saga of Big Green’s Interstellar Tour 2013-14: The Cowboy Scat edition…
Interstellar Tour Log: January 27, 2014
Exiting orbit of KOI-314c
Just in the process of attempting to reach escape velocity from KOI-314c, the strangely Earth-like planet recently detected by Earth scientists. Have to say, it was a bit disappointing. For one thing, we couldn’t find any inhabitants. Well, of course there was a vast ocean of liquid methane that might have contained some life forms, but I wasn’t going to be the first to volunteer to check it out. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) got a good look around; no clubs in site. Not even a Denny’s. What the hell is Earth-like about that? Next trip, we bring Mitch Macaphee.
Interstellar Tour Log: January 29, 2014
Entering asteroid belt (Yaaah!)
Asteroids! We’re taking a swing back through our home solar system, on our way to Sirius, and our trajectory appears to run straight through the dreaded asteroid belt that lies between Mars and the outer planets. Sure, we’ve done this before, but not without a trained pilot (or at least someone who plays one on t.v.). Anti-Lincoln claims to have some driving skills, but I think that’s more of the buckboard cart variety. Not a lot we can do with that, frankly, unless one of these asteroids would make a decent location for a re-shoot of High Noon or Showdown at the OK Corral.
Interstellar Tour Log: January 30, 2014
Unforgiving surface of Ceres, the alpha asteroid
Yes, you read that right. We got a bull’s eye on Ceres, the big brass buckle of the asteroid belt. I’m beginning to understand what’s happening here. Our rented space vehicle has a very primitive voice-activated computer guidance system, a bit like the blue tooth set in my car. When I tell my blue tooth, “call Oscar,” it starts dialing the number of someone in Madagascar. Well, we told our guidance system to take us to Sirius, and it took us to freaking Ceres. Christ on a bike!
Note to astronomers: Anti Lincoln decided to have a little barbecue while we were visiting, so if you see some unexplained vapor emanating from Ceres, yeah, that’s us.
