What the hell. Is that what we sounded like back then? We still sound like that now! Man freaking god damn. It’s like being sealed in amber.
Greetings from the Mill of our discontent. Well, it’s mild discontent, let’s say. Been a long time since the book of love. Wait … why did I say that? Oh, right – I was listening to tapes from the 70s and 80s, so naturally my mind goes back to my neighbor’s Led Zepplin albums. (I didn’t have any; just Simon and Garfunkel, Josh White, and Mario Lanza. Oh, and some weird stuff.) We didn’t sound anything like them, of course. In fact, we sounded strangely like us in the 2010’s. It’s as if we’ve been playing the same tune for forty years. FOR FORTY YEARS…!
Why am I listening to old recordings? Simple … we live in an abandoned hammer mill, we haven’t toured in three years, and there’s nothing else the fuck to do around this dump. Even Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is discontented. He even forgot to plug himself in the night before last – now that’s just plain careless.
Speaking of carelesss … I left my wallet in the bathroom. Anything could have happened to it in this den of thieves. Of course, there’ nothing in it except a couple of wadded up notes and a Canadian quarter I tried to drop into a soda machine last week. (The thing spit it back at me, making a compressor hum that sounded eerily like “Oh, Canada.”) Sometimes we fail to value those things that are the most valuable, like … I don’t know … gold, and/or money. And friends, of course. Rich, rich friends.
Yes, as you can see, we’ve been couped up in this mill way too long. It’s high time we went back on tour, this time to promote Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. That would put us back on track, get our heads in order, crisp our bacon, rock our clown, etc. It might also leave us with some fresh metaphors. Nothing like an interstellar tour to generate some really awesome metaphors.
Hey … don’t forget to check out THIS IS BIG GREEN, our podcast for August. It’s weird, yes, but you know what you’re getting, and the price is right (i.e. free).
