Was there a ‘splosion? Kind of hard to tell around this place. If Bin Laden dropped by here, he’d probably say, “What the hell do they need me for? They’re kicking their own ass.” (Apologies to Richard Pryor.)
Just keeping it real here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, as you might expect. During these hard times, it’s the same story everywhere, right? Making the ends meet in the middle. We’ve got the ends, but frankly… no middle. And if the ends justify the means, which they almost NEVER do, well then… um…. okay, I lost my train of thought. But no matter. We are doing what we do, and being what we be. That’s what Big Green is all about. That’s why we’re aboard her. RISK… RISK IS OUR BUSINESS. (Oh, Jesus… now I’m quoting Star Trek lines. Someone call the doctor! And make sure he IS a doctor, and not a mechanic. D’oh!)
So much for Marvin (my personal robot assistant) and his experiment with industriousness. Turns out he’s lazy and shiftless… just like all those OTHER robots. [Ed. note: Mr. Perry’s opinions are his alone and do not represent the views of the administrators of HammermillDays.com, its parent company, Hegemonic Records and Worm Farm, Inc., or anyone even tangentially associated with Perry who may be afraid, 
very afraid of robots.] Actually, Marvin has decided to hang up the bomb-sniffing robot gig, which is just as well. I think he’s focusing more on show business now. I saw him trying a “Renegade Robot from Mars” outfit on the other day. (Circus is in town, I hear.)
That’s not the only experiment in money making going on here at the mill. Aside from yours truly, everyone in this dump is trying to turn an easy buck. Probably the most worrysome is the mansized tuber, who has decided to try his hand at being a music promoter. He can credit his experience with us as having built up some expertise in those fibrous mental tissues of his, credibly or not. I understand his first client is a band called “Logo and the Positioning Statement”. Hardly a challenging first try, frankly. Sounds like the kind of group that markets itself.
Hey – I just found a quarter in the sofa. Probably many more where that came from. Or not. (So much for optimism.)
