Hmmm. What’s the capital of Missouri again? Was it Kansas City? Can’t remember. I’ll just enter “undecided,” that will suffice. Okay, next question… how much does the moon weigh? Full moon or half?

Oh, yes… the blog. As you can see, I’m at loose ends here. Just killing a little time between sessions. Matt put down a vocal the other day. (I wish he’d stop putting me down, man. I’m trying my BEST!) Next it’s my turn, but first Marvin (my personal robot assistant) needs to go in there and clean up the tracks a bit, do a little of his magic. (What kind of magic? Can’t say. It’s magic, damnit!) So while I’m just sitting here, I’m filling out crosswords, completing puzzlers, and… well… opening our overinflated mailbag. Some of these things have been sitting in there for six months or better. (I think I spy a christmas present…. from 1970…)

 Here’s one from Osmond of Reno, NV:

Dear Big Green:

I understand one of you lived out here at one time. Why did you do that? Are you trying to ruin our lives? Stop oppressing us!!

– Osmond

Hey, Osmond – I’m awful sorry about that, but it was a long time ago and sometimes it’s just best to forget these things. Let’s mark it down to youthful inexperience, okay? And if I ever come back, I promise not to wash dishes at the Country Kitchen buffet.

Here’s another one, from Madagascar:

Hey Big Green…

Who is this “George” and why does he want to bring Pangea back? We like being a large island nation off the eastern seaboard of Africa, and we wouldn’t mind having a word with this “George”

cheers,

Lord ‘Elpus

Okay, m’Lord, you see… “George” is a fictional character – a mad scientist, like Mitch Macaphee (who is, sadly, real). Not everyone in our songs is for real, okay? Sometimes we make up unlikely personages, like “Jane” or “Abraham Lincoln”, and sometimes we borrow them from other authors, like “Tarzan” and “Edward Teller”.  And regarding the reclamation of Pangea, no worries… that will take some time, he-he-he…. sometime indeed…

Time for one more; this from D.C.:

Dear Big Green,

Hell no, you can’t!

John Boehner
House Minority Leader

Thanks, John. I was wondering about that. Great hearing from you, as always. Well, time to get back into the studio. Sounds like Marvin’s finished erasing everything we’ve done so far. Nice work, boy!