How the hell do I know how they found you? It was 
probably a mistake leaving your forwarding address. We were only going to be gone a month or two, damnit. Ah, well.
Oh, hi, friends. No, we’re not being pursued by bill collectors (at least, not out here in the constellation of Orion). I’m just fielding questions from Marvin (my personal robot assistant), who apparently received a piece of financial spam from some company that identifies itself as “Direct Capital”, to wit:
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:21 AMSubject: Call Me – Line of CreditHi Marvin,
I can help you get set up with a Line of Credit (secured or unsecured) for On Time Van Trans In if you have any purchases you need to make.
It’s pretty quick and easy. Give me a call at (877) 322-9235 and I can get you started.
Kenneth
__________________________
Kenneth Karpel
Finance Manager
Yeah, I know. It’s got spam written all over it, right? Well, try telling that to Marvin. He almost never gets any email. So when this sucker came sailing into his inbox, he nearly blew a circuit board. This could be a problem out here in Orion, where electronics stores are few and far between. Why, just last night I saw our mad science advisor, Mitch Macaphee, re-wrapping and soldering a damaged motherboard under the glow of a battery-operated flashlight. (As I mentioned before, our converted Soyuz spacecraft offers few comforts… like intermittent air supply, for instance…)
So anyway…. after our triumphant, enthusiastic reception on Rigel, we decided to point our second-hand vessel towards richer pastures on Sirius, the dog star. Our perennial sit-in guitarist, sFshzenKlyrn, has chosen to go on ahead of us rather than tag alongside the Soyuz, and frankly I can’t blame him. For one thing, he can fly circles around us, and that’s without a 
space ship. For another thing, with Mitch in the driver’s seat, it’s positively hazardous. (Mitch has gotten kind of erratic as a driver. I think it’s the medications he’s taking. More on that later.) I don’t want you to think that we’re not taking this seriously – god, no! In fact, we have been offered a substitute pilot for the next leg of our International House promotional tour. As it happens, his name is Urich Von Braun, and I have it on the highest authority that he is a CRACK pilot. He’s a member of the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association, for one thing…. and that’s good enough for me. Urich’s got rocketry in his blood, goddamnit. In fact, he’s got a lot of things in his blood… which is why his license got suspended for a brief time. But that was another time and another era. That’s all I’m going to say about it now. If you want to find out more, ask your mother. (Jesus, is that the time?)
So… Sirius ahead, Rigel far behind. Urich Von Braun at the wheel. Sounds like an interstellar tour.
